


Heavens Eyes

by morninginmay



Category: Death Note, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note (Movies), Death Note: The Musical - Wildhorn/Murphy
Genre: Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Murder, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Tension, Wholesome, light being kira, maybe some smut who knows at this point, there will be multiple chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-01-06 19:46:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morninginmay/pseuds/morninginmay
Summary: She had always admired him, from the moment she first spoke to him to the moment he offered for her to live with him. Can she continue to push her high school crush down and not act on her feelings? Or will she fall to his feet?





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> My first Death Note fic, hope y'all enjoy

You were grateful that the Yagami's had let you spend the night in their home. You had been spending late nights at school for study reasons, which your parents were not the greatest fans of, but you preferred to study at school rather than home, and your grades were only getting higher and higher for doing so. It had become routine that Light would see you walk home when he looked out his window when he saw that this had become an almost daily activity, he eventually asked if you wanted to stay in the guest room in his home to save you the long walk to the train station. Of course, you had accepted, how could you not, he was _Light Yagami_ asking _you_ to stay over. Sure, it was school related, but your seventeen-year-old brain found it a good enough reason to get excited. The room was simple, a bed with a desk (that you assumed Light had made sure to have in the room for you) along with a chest of drawers.

During your senior year, it had become a routine to stay there, during that year you had started to feel as though you were indeed part of their family. Light’s mother being so welcoming only added to the feeling. It had come to the point where you were invested in his family’s day-to-day lives and had started to leave stuff in what was now referred to as ‘your room’.   You had grown to love his family, there were times where they had felt like your family more than the pair that had raised you in your home. Light’s mother had even remembered your birthday every year and had always gotten you a gift, you treasured all of them. One, in particular, you had fallen in love with was a watch. Tears had welled up in your eyes when you opened the box, it was one of the greatest gifts you had ever received, you had hugged his mother tight thanking her while she had just laughed assuring you that it was all right. It was a simple design that while showing the time also showed the date, it had been so useful for you and you always made sure to protect it with your life and wear it every day. 

Even if it had started with being a nice gesture to do with school, there was no denying that it was far more than that now. Especially since even during holidays you would stay there with them for the majority of the time. The Yagami’s would invite you to family dinners and all things of that sort. Of course, however, there were negatives about living with the Yagami’s and that was Light. You had had a crush on him since your junior year, and now that you basically lived with him, for the most part, you felt as though he saw you more like a sister or friend more than a romantic partner. Then again, you weren’t sure that Light was even interested in having a romantic partner, he was so focused on his studies, and so many girls at your school swooned over Light. Not to your surprise.

You sat hunched over your desk at the Yagami’s home, _your_ home. You had been working almost three hours on your essay, it seemed the more time you spent on it the more you noticed what was wrong with it. Why couldn’t you write something without second-guessing yourself? You let out a frustrated sigh before you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms above your head until you heard the satisfying _pop_ in your back. Even that didn’t seem to be able to wind you down. You stood up from your seat and stretched more before you walked around your room. You hated being at your desk for too long, it had tendencies to make you feel insane.

“Light, (Y/N), dinner will be soon,” you heard Light’s mother call from downstairs.

“We’ll be right down!” You heard Light call out from his room which had only made you jump slightly. It didn’t make sense to act this way about his voice, but you always seemed to get in an odd state around him. _Even if you had been living with him for this long._

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, you looked tired. Very Tired. Staying up late the night before, but you knew it would be worth it. When the time comes that you would get to see your results from the nation-wide exams, all the studying late nights and the plan cancelling would be worth it. You knew you would never compare to Light and his genius, you had learned a long time ago that anything of that nature was futile. Yet his mother always seemed proud of anything you showed her. Your marks weren’t horrid, they just weren’t first place. You stretched one last time before you left your room, to your surprise, before Light. He must have been finishing up his readings. 

You made your way to the dining room, Sayu was already sat at the table, a huge grin on her face when she saw you walk down, “There you are (Y/N), hey since you’re super great could you grab me a book from the library tomorrow?”

“Trying to butter me up?” You smirked before you sat down next to her.

She only giggled, “It works though!”

“Alright, what’d you want?”

“Kokoro! You seemed pretty into it so I wanted to try.”

You gave a small shrug, “Well I’m honoured. I’ll grab it tomorrow okay?”

“Thank you!”

Light’s voice cut you off from your thoughts when he entered the kitchen, “Sayu are you bribing (Y/N) again? Remember she’s got her final exams coming up.” His voice was calm and smooth, while he pulled out his chair across from you, he sat down his eyes shut slightly as though he was thinking for a moment, before he looked back up at you, “you’re allowed to say no to her you understand?”

You laughed slightly, “I could never say no to Sayu, she’s too sweet.”

“Or a brat.” He shrugged slightly.

“Hey, that’s not nice!” Sayu yelled at him.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

“(Y/N) DON’T YOU DARE STEAL THE SHOWER I  _WANT_ IT  _NOW_!” Sayu’s screams echoed throughout the house and you only giggled while you ran upstairs to grab your towel. It was a common activity between the two of you. It seemed so typical of people who were sisters – at least that how you viewed Sayu – to fight over such things. She would be adamant about getting in the bathroom before you and taking far too long to get out, at times taking over an hour. You remembered once remarking what on earth could take her an hour. You couldn’t contain your laughter the day you had gotten into the shower first and played your music loud to drown out Sayu’s yells in protest. But of course, every other part of the say the two of you were as thick as thieves.

You opened up your bedroom door and looked for your toiletry bag and towel. There was no way you’d let Sayu beat you today, especially since you were planning on going out and you intended to look your best. Once you had your things you ran out of your room, not focusing on anything around you, stifling laughter under her breath.

  _Crash!_

You felt your body crashed into a mass. You let out an ‘oof’ when you made contact, “Sayu, it’s my turn okay – oh Light, I’m so sorry, I uh-” your eyes widened when you saw that you had in fact not bumped into the younger girl and was, in fact, the boy you had admired for far too long.

A small smirk spread across his features, “No worries, might want to be quick, you don’t want Sayu to beat you to it.” He brushed past you to get into his room, “you’re lucky you didn’t run out in a towel, that might have been . . . interesting.” He chuckled before closing his door. You felt your cheeks flush and you covered your face while you ran to the bathroom, not wanting Sayu to see you as the blushing mess you were.

_What did that comment even mean?! Was he making fun of me?_

The moment you had turned on the shower you could hear Sayu shouting out you and banging on the door. You drowned out her voice when you entered the shower. A small hope inside of you that you would be able to wash that interaction with Light off from you. You were so embarrassed. He must have thought you were an idiot. Why did you care so much? You had been living with him and his family for a long time, yet you were always worried that you would do something stupid that would make him judge you.

 You washed your (H/C) hair trying to take your mind of the older Yagami sibling and tried to think about what you would wear or how to do your hair. You used to think yourself as typical for ‘taking part’ in girlish behaviours but the older you grew the more you cared less about how you behaved. You had a couple of outfits lined up but you thought the main outfit out down to the shoes. A fleeting thought passed through your mind on what Light would think about your outfit. Light wasn’t known for being too revealing about his feelings towards women, and you knew that  _you_  would be no exception.

***

You dried your hair, soft music playing in the background while you made your way to your wardrobe. You threw your towel on your desk chair before you picked out the outfit you wanted. A simple outfit that was both cute but also sophisticated. It was a style you had started to lean towards as you got older. Although no one ever seemed to notice your fashion sense. Your parents never truly  _saw_  you. They saw your report card and kept in eye on what you wanted to with your future. Light’s mother (Auntie as you had come to call her) seemed to notice you. You had been flustered when she first complimented a dress you had worn around the house when you had taken a break from study. It was so foreign to you.

Once dressed you sat in front of your mirror to do your hair and makeup. Sayu would usually watch in somewhat fascination over it. Wanting you to do her makeup too. And sometimes you would, a little bit of lipstick that fit her complexion well. It had crossed your mind many times that Sayu liked the prospect of having s big sister. Even if you couldn’t compete with her bond with Light, you knew there were some things she would always go to you for first.

You brushed yourself off before grabbing your handbag and wallet, you weren’t too sure what you would do today, but you knew you needed the study break, “Auntie I’m heading out I’ll be back later. I’ll get your book today too Sayu!”

You heard the calls of goodbye while you left and shut the door behind you. You glanced down at yourself once more before you started to head out. You were excited about the prospect of going to a café nearby and relaxing there with a good book, maybe you would do some sketches. The sound of your heels clicking on the footpath rang out clearly. You had always enjoyed that sound. Something about it made you feel as though you perhaps came off as sophisticated, it reminded you of the sound of your teachers’ footsteps throughout the school halls. It was relaxing in a way. You buried your hands in your coat pockets and continued to the library, Sayu would be so pleased with the book. Maybe you could get her a snack on your way home.

It was relatively quiet downtown, which was no problem for you. You weren’t a fan of when it got too overcrowded, it would often make you feel claustrophobic in a way. But today it was a perfect mix. Sayu’s book was In your bag and you were ready to go to a local café you were a fan of. You almost jumped when you heard a voice call out to you.

“Ms. (L/N)?”

You looked over your shoulder and saw an oh-so-familiar face. Touta Matsuda the young detective that worked with Mr. Yagami. He was a bubbly man who seemed far too unpredictable and optimistic for the job, but that was something you had appreciated about him, “Matsuda!” you smiled at him, “so lovely to see you.”

He made his way over to you, brushing past a couple of people, before he beamed brightly, “I thought that was you! How have you been, you’ve been studying for your final exams right?”

You smiled while you looked down slightly, “Yeah, been staying up a bit too late for it.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great! The amount of hard work you’ve been putting in will pay off,” he encouraged, before he looked over his shoulder, “hey I was just about to grab a coffee would you like to come with me?”

You nodded with a smile, “Of course!”

Matsuda had always been an energetic man and that energy was non-stop. During coffee he was chatty and the bright smile on his face was unable to disappear. It always made him seem far younger than what he was and made it even harder to believe he worked with police.

“What do you want to do once you graduate, (Y/N), do you have plans?” he asked before he took a sip from his coffee.

You hesitated for a moment before you gave a curt nod, “Well, I had originally wanted to be a writer but at the moment, my studies are aiming for me to get a job as either a lawyer or detective. I’m not sure what specifically yet, it will all depend on my marks.”

“Well, no matter what you do I know you will be fantastic at it! Of course, if you were a detective we would get to work together! Which would be pretty cool.” He gave out a nervous laugh.

“Thank you, Matsuda. I appreciate it.” You did. Your parents were set on you becoming a lawyer. Even if they were not a huge part of your life anymore, you still wanted them to be proud. Even if they were never fully happy with your life choices.

“I can picture you as a writer though! You’ll have to let me read your work one day,” he smiled sweetly at you, “I don’t get much time to read anymore but I’d read anything you write.”

“Maybe I’ll send you some pieces soon.” You laughed and sipped your coffee. From the corner of your eye, you noticed that Matsuda looked at you for a beat longer than he had meant to before he shook his head slightly and grabbed his cup, looking down, with what you could only guess was embarrassment.

The two of you continued to talk, mostly about why you had chosen to go to town that day. Matsuda took in every word you said and would respond when appropriate. He later spoke about how he loved his days off to go about and do what he couldn't during the week, he said that he would often find himself wandering around, not heading anywhere specific but just wanting to be outside. He said he had been excited when he saw you and almost couldn't believe it  _was_ you. He thought you would stay home to study much like Light. You weren't a fan of being compared to Light. Matsuda seemed to avoid it though, he had a way of making you feel as though you were special and that it was good that you weren't a carbon copy of the Yagami son. In those kinds of moments, when he would get flustered and stumbled over his words that you found him cute. You knew for a fact that Matsuda was single and had been for some time. Which had always seemed odd to you, while he may have been goofy, he was genuine.  _How could he_ not _have a girlfriend?_  You could only assume that he would be able to find someone the older he got. At least you could only  _hope_. Perhaps if you stopped pinning over Light you could focus on Matsuda. He would treat a woman with respect and kindness. What more could someone want?

You had stopped listening to whatever he had been talking about At this point you were just staring at him. Noticing all his features. You were only snapped out of this trance when you saw his facial expression change to that of curiosity, at first you had feared that he had noticed that you weren't listening and that you would have some explaining to do, you threw that thought away that moment his face brightened up and he started to wave. 

"Hey, Light! Over here, what a coincidence to see you here, are you taking the day off too?" he asked him with genuine interest. 

You turned your head slightly to look at Light who had walked next to your seat. He still held his usual neutral expression, making him look older, far too mature for his age. Of course, he had dressed well, his usual white button up with his tan coat. It was a perfect fit for him, which was no shock, throughout your years of knowing Light you knew he loved for most things to be perfection, that was anything from his work to his clothing and hair. It was something you admired about him. You were confused as to why he was there, however. Light usually loved having the house to himself to study on the weekends. If he were to go out to study, you would often find him sitting alone at a library or in a shady spot in the park. Not a café where the noise was likely to rise.

“Afraid no,” he said simply before he fished his hand in his pocket and pulled out a phone, it was _your_ phone, “I just came to give (Y/N) her phone – you left it at home, so I came down to drop it off.”

You looked at him while he passed you the phone. Your soul wishing, he would play the part of a lover in a novel who would hold your hand for a second too long when he passed it to you. Of course, nothing of the sort happened. He had just given you your phone as anyone would. Just like how  _anyone_  would. You didn’t know why the action almost offended you, yet the feeling was there. You were befuddled; however, you seldom took your phone with you when you went out to town. You usually left it at home because you hated it ringing while you had your quiet time. Sure, you could turn it off, but you didn’t see the point in taking it if you especially when most of your friends didn’t have a phone, and your parents would never call. So why would Light bring your phone here? He knew you hardly took it anywhere. How did he know where you were anyway? You hadn't told anyone where you planned on going for the day, apart from the library, and you had been out for over two hours, why would he bring it now? Had he had done it while you were leaving the house it would have had made more sense, but now? 

You looked at your phone for a moment, uttering a thanks, to him before placing it in your pocket, not bothering to check if you had any missed messages. You were unable to see the look on Light’s face that was a mix of surprise and disappointment, as though he had expected you to check your phone before putting it away. Before you looked back at Matsuda who was just beaming, from ear to ear, praised Light, “That’s so thoughtful of you Light! Coming all this way to give (Y/N) her phone, especially when you’re studying!”

“Always one to point out the obvious, huh Matsuda.” Light said coolly, there was an edge to his voice that implied his words were an insult. It was as clear as day for you, you were too familiar with that tone, you couldn’t hold back your giggle from his words.

Light glanced down at you with a smirk on his features while Matsuda blushed, rubbing the back of his head. He laughed slightly, “Always the joker, Light.” He was blushing slightly. You saw light pull up a chair and sat next to Matsuda. Tension seemed to grow between the three of you and Matsuda was tripping over his words too much to even utter a sentence.

“You seemed pretty deep in conversation. What did I miss?” Light asked coolly, fingertips curled around his chin, while he looked at Matsuda, occasionally throwing a glance towards you.

“Oh, nothing really.” Matsuda laughed slightly, he was about to add more but Light had cut him off quickly and smoothly without a flaw.

“Does my father know that you meet up with (Y/N) for coffee?” he tilted his head, “I’m sure he’d love to know what the two of you chat about.”

Matsuda’s face flushed, “Well this is our first time meeting up actually, I just bumped into (Y/N) outside the library.”

“I see,” he said simply, “then I suppose you won’t mind if I join?” he smiled before he left to order a coffee.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

It was supposed to be a simple day where she could relax. When Light had joined her and Matsuda for coffee, it felt like an interview. She wasn’t sure what to do. A part of her felt like she was being judged, and that was the last thing she wanted. A soft sigh escaped her lips, before she glanced at herself in the mirror, she brushed her hair to make it look tidier and smooth. She placed the brush down before she opened her notebook, ready to start more study work, she sipped on her tea, while she read through her notes that she had made the previous day.

While working on practice essays, she couldn’t help but notice her mind wandered more than usual. One thing had been stuck on her mind on _how_ Light knew where she would be and _why_ he would bring her her cell phone. It all seemed so odd. She glanced down at her phone that was still switched off and turned it on.

 

(8) MISSED MESSAGES

 

**YURI (4)**

_Do you want to come to a study group with me tomorrow?_

_I’ve been told Ena is going to invite the guys._

_Come on (Y/N) don’t miss out on the eye candy!_

 

Taigen will be there

 

**ENA (3)**

_I don’t know if Yuri will remember to tell you but I’m having a study day tomorrow, and you should come_

_The guys will be there_

_Oh and have you finished Misery?_

 

She smiled to herself. Her friends didn’t know of her interest in Light, and both had been somewhat jealous that she lived with him. She quickly replied to the two girls confirming that she would think about it. She hadn’t always been the biggest fan of group study, and she knew if her friends were there, not much would get done. She looked back through her texts to see the last one she had missed.

 

**LIGHT (1)**

 

Light? Now, this she was shocked to see, the two would often text but on a day when he was supposed to be studying, she didn’t expect to see one there for her.

 

**LIGHT (1)**

_Hoping you’ll read this when I give you your phone. Tell Matsuda you need to go do something, I’ll reimburse you for the coffee._

 

She tilted her head in confusion. Why would he send that? He wanted to her to leave the café, it seemed to not make sense to her. Why would he care where she would go?  She bit her lip for a moment, debating if she should even text back. A part of her fuming, it explained why he had acted so snarkily to Matsuda during his time he spent with them. Was this Light's way of telling he didn't want her to be around him? A part of her wanted to understand that he was being kind, but it was the last thing she wanted, she was almost an adult, she would be in University soon. She didn't need someone to tell her how to spend her say. It wasn't like she had been flirting with the detective. They were talking. She looked at the keypad of her phone, hearing the vigorous clicks while she drafted a message. Yet nothing seemed to come out the way she wanted it to sound. What was the point of texting him when they were both a few meters apart from each other? She sighed slightly and got up from her desk chair. She may as well just ask him herself. 

The two knocks on his door echoed within her, was it invasive to want to talk with him about what had happened today. No, it couldn't be, she was there too, she was just as involved in this as him. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, before she heard his door open. When she looked up at him, he seemed uncertain at first before his usual calm dementor took over him, a soft smile on his features, “Oh, (Y/N), is there anything you need?”

“Do you want to explain what happened today?”

“Did you get my text? I’ll take that as a yes,” he said after she gave him a look, he leaned against his door frame, “I don’t know what you need me to explain.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not I’m giving you the simple truth, maybe if you can clarify to me what it is you wish for me to explain then sure I could. I doubt this is over me giving you your phone, that was a kind act.” There was a smirk edging on his lips, he wanted to laugh, he really did, the way she looked in that moment before him. She was doing her best to remain composed, her arms crossed over her chest. Although he struggled to take her seriously when she was in her pyjamas. How could anyone?

“You know what you did. Why did you start saying those comments at Matsuda, or even come to bring my phone? You know I don’t use it.”

He gave a small shrug a small laugh escaped his lips, “are you seriously upset I ‘ruined’ your date with Matsuda?”

“It wasn’t a date.” She frowned.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, I don’t see why you’re mad. You could do far better than Matsuda.

She was taken aback for a moment, “Better?”

“Don’t act surprised. Women are so weird about these things, you’re not a bad catch, you’re intelligent and beautiful, you could probably get yourself a hard-working husband who will treat you like a queen or whatever it is you’re into.”

_I don’t want just any hard-working husband, Light. Does this mean you think I’m worthy to be with you? Would you consider me as someone you would want to date? Or do you see me too much as your sister or friend. Oh, Light why do you have to make this so confusing. Why do you look like you don’t even care about anything you’re saying? And why do you have to have your fingers curled around your chin so close to your lips. . ._

His voice cut you from your thoughts, “And maybe I gave you your phone, so you’d read my text.”

“You sent that after seeing me with him.”

“I suppose I did, didn’t I? Well isn’t that a great mystery.”

She sighed, she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him at this point, “Sure, night.” She turned to go back to her room, she would do one more practice essay before she went to bed, at least her day could be more productive that way.

She gasped slightly when she felt a tight grip around her wrist, she turned her head to see Light looking straight into her soul, “I know I can’t stop you. But I want you to know your worth. You deserve someone better than Matsuda.”

She didn’t know what to say, she just looked at him and nodded slightly. After a moment he let go of her hand, bidding her goodnight before he closed his door. She couldn’t write an essay after that. She just needed to lay in bed and hope she could get some sleep after all that. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling while she tried to figure out what had just happened.

Light sat down at his desk once again, he finished the last of his study before he closed his books and put them away in their designated place. He stretched for a moment before laying back in his bed staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure why he had acted the way he did. Usually, he wouldn’t care what people do in their private lives, as long as they were not hurting anyone it was no concern of his. Yet, when he saw (Y/N) with Matsuda, he couldn’t stand the sight. Then again, had he chosen not to give her her phone and continued to study for the day he would have never had to worry about it. He closed his eyes for a moment. _See this is what happens when you insert yourself into the narrative with foolish things. Had I had let her come home for her phone I would have never interjected myself and involved myself in something I couldn’t care less about._ He rolled over to his side and pulled out a book from his desk side drawer, he flicked through a few pages to get to a photograph he had left inside. It had been taken last Christmas. Light could remember his mother being insistent on getting so many photos that year. Sayu was the most annoying trying to sneak into every one of them. But this was one that she had managed not to do it. It was a photo of himself and (Y/N). She was wearing a jumper his mother had gotten her, it stood out against her light pyjama shorts. She was sitting with him on the floor, she was smiling up at the camera, a book rested on her lap that Light had been reading with her as well. Her head was tilted to the side closer to him, while he sat next to her, leaning on his hand that was behind her back, he smiled at the camera, his free hand resting on a different book that they had been planning to read later.

Why did she have to be so confusing, he thought to himself while he closed the book and got under the covers. His eyes fixed on the drawer where the photo laid, soon falling asleep.

The school day morning came what felt like so much sooner than expected and Light was one of the first to wake up along with his mother. He knew Sayu would take a true effort to wake up but (Y/N) would probably end up being the one to do it. Oddly she wasn’t awake yet, Light made it his duty to wake up the sleepy head. While he made his way upstairs, he smirked to himself before he called out, “(Y/N), time to get up.” He knocked on her door before he entered her room.

She was already sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, uniform on and hair done. She was reading until he entered her room, she looked over at him with a raised eyebrow while she closed the book, “You right there?”

He shook his head, “I thought you were still sleeping. Will you wake Sayu? Breakfast is ready so we’ll be able to leave soon.”

“That’ll be a bit early to leave,” she gave a small shrug and got off her bed and grabbed her shoulder bag, “you seem to be in a rush.”

“If it is too early, we can just go for a walk around the area until we need to get there.” He offered, she immediately looked up at him with slight confusion in her eyes a slow blink before she brushed her hair out of her eyes while she walked closer to him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her standing so close to him, she was inches away, looking up at him. _Why was she so close?!_ He could practically smell the lavender in her hair. He nearly yelled out at her when she leaned forward but it only came out as a confused sound, a mix between “ _hey_ ”, “ _wait_ ”, and “ _what’re_ _you_ ”. She only seemed to chuckle when she leaned away and revealed in her hand what she had been leaning over to grab. _That damn phone._

“Sorry you were in the way,” she smiled before brushing past him to go wake up Sayu. The only thing letting Light know of this was her sudden frightened scream.

“(Y/N) LET ME SLEEP!”

***

The commute to school was the same as always. The only difference was this time they both knew they would have free time before class. Light had gotten (Y/N) into the habit of arriving to school five minutes or so before they needed to start. She used to arrive early to study and meet up with friends, and at the start of her time of staying with Light she had continued to go to school early to see everyone and socialise, but soon she found that she preferred the company of walking with him, whether it was in dee conversation about any topic or just in the comfort of silence. Either way, she found walking with him was nicer. In recent weeks, the two would debate the justice system. It seemed to be something that was contently on Lights mind. She couldn’t blame him, if he wanted to be a detective, it was only fair that he wanted to understand the justice system. She knew that she should also think more about those types of topics since one of her top choices in a career was a lawyer, the second a detective.

A lot of the thoughts Light would share with her would never surprise her, his thoughts were overly Just and optimistic. On a technical sense, he was right, but she wasn’t sure where she placed herself on his scale of justice.

“I’m glad I can talk with you about this,” he eventually said, before he stopped in front of the school gate.

“I’m always willing to listen,” she shrugged, “you have a unique view.”

“I mean it,” he said more seriously, placing his hand on her shoulder, “most dismiss my arguments about these types of things. OR call me a child for it.”

She glanced at his hand that seemed to have a slightly firm grip on her, before she looked up at him, “Well, I’m sure you’d do the same for me. I’ve known you for what, five years? I’d hope you’d be willing to do the same for me as well.”

The reassuring smile she gave him made him feel more sure of himself and he squeezed her shoulder slightly, “Hey, we still have some time would you like to go grab-”

The moment he heard the high-pitched call from one of your friends, waving her arm excitedly while she ran over to you, he wanted nothing more than to yell at her to leave. How did she always have a talent for being overly obnoxious? Yuri was her name, wasn’t it? One of (Y/N)s close friends, an overbearing woman who always demanded attention. He was surprised that (Y/N) hadn’t cut her off once they reached senior year. The only hope he had for her was the fact that there would be no way that Yuri would make it to the same University as (Y/N) she was a clueless girl and hardly focused on her studies, and it showed greatly.

“(Y/N) YOU’RE HERE!” the girl smiled brightly, (y/n) had felt the sudden absence of Lights hand, that seemed to brush down your arm before it rested back at his side, “you should come sit with us, there’s so much we have to tell you!” she giggled.

Light could clearly see the flicker of annoyance in her eyes before she smiled, “Uh, sure yes, I’ll catch you later Light” it sounded more like a question when she looked back at him and she quickly mouthed an apology to him. He only gave her a soft shrug back before she was dragged away by Yuri to the school grounds. Light felt his jaw tighten and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes, his knuckles white while he gripped the strap of his bag.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

Listening to your friends gossip amongst themselves made you realise how out of touch you were to their lives. While sitting and listening to them, it amazed you to hear everything you had missed, who was going out with who, why they don’t like certain girls, their plans for after graduation. There was a small part inside of you that was glad they still wanted to include you in these types of things. It would be far easier to just leave you out of the group. Yet there you sat, the moment you had been spotted attending school early again, they insisted you come with them and catch up. There was a wholesomeness to it in a way, especially considering it was a high school friendship. While you had nothing against those friendships per se it was no hidden fact that the moment you all graduated it would be likely that you wouldn’t see any one of them again for years. There was nothing inherently wrong with that, it was just a part of life. Both Light and yourself over the years had made plans to attend To-Oh University, most of your friends want to go overseas for their study, or to different cities. So there was no lie that you all would eventually split away from each other, especially since the majority had different career paths in mind: doctor, hairdresser, and banker. Not exactly the same path as a lawyer. Your friends seemed a bit oblivious to the fact and were set on the idea that you all would be friends forever. You weren’t going to break it to them.

In class you had almost grown the urge to walk out, your teacher had been dancing around a topic that you knew was a sensitive one and he was opening it for debate. You tried to zone out, you didn’t wish to take part. While you loved debating and making arguments that would make you think on your feet you knew this subject matter would only cause you to become far too frustrated. You preferred the small conversations yourself and Light would have on the subject. You didn’t like the feeling of your classmates watching you in regard to this topic.

“(Y/N)”

_Crap why did he have to call on me!?_

You looked up from your desk to him, you had let out a soft sigh before you stood up, he had a soft smile on his face as though he was keen to hear your opinion, “You’re striving to be a criminal lawyer when you leave so I believe you should have an interesting view on this matter. What are your thoughts on the current justice system?”

You were about to speak - you were prepared to give a simple answer on how all in society can be improved and that law was no exception - before you were interrupted by the voice across the room from you, you glanced over and saw Light had stood up, of course, he had. You remained nonchalant about his act, you didn’t want to crack in front of your classmates, “Sorry to interrupt, but I just find it odd how it is called a justice system when it _lacks_ justice?”

“What makes you think that Mr. Yagami?” the teacher tilted his head, of course, he would want the two of you to debate, Light wishing to be a detective and you a lawyer, stereotypically your worlds clashed.

“Well, it can clearly be seen that many of those who are guilty of a crime get to walk free, now if you were to ask me, that doesn’t seem at all _fair_. There are some people on this planet who don’t deserve the chances they get.”

You looked back at your teacher and spoke clearly with confidence, “That doesn’t mean justice doesn’t exist. To look at things so black and white - it’s insane, there are many shades of grey that run from case to case, each situation is unique and needs different attention.”

“Well, perhaps we should drain the colour from it,” Light challenged you, “so we can see black and white again.”

“Taking an extreme like that won’t improve the patterns you’re seeing, things like this are far more complicated than, right or wrong.”

“It’s hard to see how all the grey you speak of holds an ounce of justice when lawyers cutting deals isn’t a crime.”

“It _is_ a crime.” you felt yourself getting heated, your eyes closed for a moment while you tried to collect yourself. It was a topic both you and Light were very passionate about, but to talk like this to him in front of your classmates, you couldn’t bear it. You didn’t want to create a boundary between the two of you, yet you didn’t want him to make you look foolish, “you cannot justify the actions of few to define the majority. Not everyone who is a lawyer is easily corrupted by the ways of money. If that is truly how you see the world a part of me is fearful for you.”

Light didn’t take your words to insult, either that for he professionally hiding it, “Well I must say your optimism is cute. But for now, we are stuck in this mess of a world.”

You were mostly silent on the walk home with Light. The debate in class was all you could think about. Even your friends had heard about it through word-of-mouth. You had to restrain yourself from snapping at them with all their questions: ‘are you and Light fighting’, ‘it’s going to be awkward for you when you walk home’, ‘he must think you’re an idiot haha’. Their words just hit you in all the wrong places. You hadn’t planned on walking home with Light that day because of how bothered you were. You had planned on staying at school to study until late and perhaps even walk back to your parents’ home. But while you were sitting in the school library, head deep into studying, you felt the familiar hand of Light on your shoulder. He said that he had been waiting for you at the gate and you hadn’t shown up. You had told him your plans on studying late and he had simply waved you off picking up your things, insisting that you shouldn’t walk home, how it would be dangerous to be alone at night. You didn’t bother to protest.

“(Y/N)”

Light’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked up at him, he had stopped walking, “Yes?” the moment he heard your voice he had started walking again but didn’t look at you.

“You’ve been quiet since we left school, is something wrong?”

You sighed slightly, while you didn’t want to go into it, you knew Light, he wouldn’t let this go until you spoke, “What did you mean by what you said in class?”

He raised an eyebrow at your question, his eyes glanced down at you, you were holding your books close to your chest, not putting them in your bag, Light supposed it was to create a barrier for yourself, “Huh?”

“What you said about my optimism. What did you mean? Were you making fun of me or-”

He immediately cut you off and walked in front of you, grabbing your shoulders, “Wait what? Insulting you? (Y/N) I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then why did you say it? I just feel stupid.”

“I meant what I said. While I’m not the biggest fan of lawyers, I know that if you’re among them you’ll make it a better place, and I know that if in some odd occasion I need a lawyer, I know I can go to you.” He let go of your shoulders and smiled sweetly at you.

You gasped slightly, “You mean that?”

“Of course, you’d always be my number one lawyer.”

“Oh, but I wouldn’t be able to do that.” You wanted to scream at yourself for thoughtlessly blurting that out.

He seemed confused, “Why is that?” You knew why, because you had feelings for him, it would be improper. Light didn’t feel that way, how could you blurt that out so carelessly?! He looked at you, a somewhat concerned expression on his face.

“Because – well, we have a, a personal relationship,” you tried to cover your tracks while you glanced away from him, he stepped closer to you and you could feel your heart beating in your chest and hear it in your ears. Could Light hear it too?

“What do you mean _personal_?” he asked, his voice seemed too soft when he asked this, it was lower than the tone he had been using previously, which seemed to only make your heart pump faster.

You looked back up at him and he was staring deeply into you, you could feel the blush on your cheeks and you knew you wouldn’t be able to blame it on the cold, “Well I mean-”

“Yes?”

The sound of his voice was so sweet, it made you feel like you were the only one there in the world, and you wanted it to stay like that. He was so close to you, he even seemed to be moving closer to you, you felt as though if he moved any closer you would be able to feel his breath on you. Was this one of those moments you had watched on the TV with Sayu, or something with your books? Or were you reading too far into it, “We live together you know, we’re like family.” No, either way, you couldn’t lean in, you couldn’t give in to your desires, you were family at this point, there was no way that he wanted you as something more.

“Ah, I see.” His voice had returned to normal now and he had moved back a little.

“Besides! You’ll never need a lawyer silly,” you tried to brighten the mood, a soft giggle in your tone, “if I get into criminal justice I’ll be quite useless to you.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he shrugged moving back to your side while you both walked on ahead, “my point still stands, you’ll be a brilliant lawyer. I’m sure even my parents will be proud of you.”


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

You laid back on your bed, fiddling with a red ribbon entwined in your fingertips. Light wasn’t home. For the first time, he let you walk home by yourself since he wanted to make a quick stop to a convenience store after prep-school. You pulled the ribbon tightly between your fingers, there was a part of you that was glad that he was finally treating you as an adult but another part of you had the sinking gut feeling that he wasn’t okay. You winced slightly and loosened your pull on the ribbon, you hadn’t noticed how tight you were pulling it, a red mark left on your fingers. You rolled over to your side and reached over to your lamp to turn it off. A small hope inside you that the dread you felt would leave in the morning.

***

Light stumbled through his bedroom door, his chest rapidly rising and falling, it was true. The Death Note, it was all _real_ , and he was destined to use it. _He_ was the chosen one for this. He set his bag down and sat on his bed for a moment. So many thoughts had been rushing through his mind and he tried to collect them all while he started to undo his red tie. Fiddling with the material in his hands. How was this all possible? Was this all by the will of God? Had this been his destiny? To protect the less fortunate and to keep the public safe . . .  
  
“(Y/N).”

He hadn’t meant to verbally speak your name. It had been a thought that shocked him too much. Were you okay? Had you gotten home safe? _Oh god, what if something happened and she's hurt, it would all be my fault, I know how dangerous these streets are yet I let her walk home alone - all to test out this damn book! (Y/N) I hope you'll forgive me._  Tie still in hand, he made his way over to your room. The door was closed, no light emitted from the room. He knew that technically that was no indicator that you were inside or _weren't_ inside. _Mum and Dad would have been up worried sick if she wasn’t home, better yet they would call me. Then again there’s no saying that they thought she was going home for the night so therefore they wouldn’t be worried; but wouldn't she call me if that were the case? I know I shouldn’t barge into her room or wake her up but . . . Goddammit, I need to know._

He gently opened the door to your room and immediately felt relieved when he saw you sleeping soundly in your bed. He knew it would be best to leave, he knew you were home and safe, that he hadn’t done anything reckless that would get you hurt. Not that it mattered now, he could protect you with the Death Note if need be. He quietly stepped into your room; you didn’t stir you were too deep in sleep. A soft smile curled along his lips, he noticed that in your hands, you held a red ribbon close to your chest. He reached out to take it away from you and put it on your desk but stopped himself when you rolled over. He pulled his hand back before he glanced at your desk, your laptop was still on and it slightly lit up the room. He made his way over and looked over your desk, you were messier than him but he could clearly see that there was a method to your madness. His eyes caught onto the photo frames you kept on your desk, none of which were of your blood family, where he guess where you would have placed your family photo you had a photo of yourself with his family. He found it sweet, yet a small pit formed in his stomach,  _does she only see me as a brother?_ A picture next to it was a photo of the two of you, he remembered this one, they were walking around Aoyama with their friends and one of them had taken a photo of the two. She was far more expressive than he was, a bright smile on her face while she had an arm around him. It was a good day,  _perhaps I should plan for us to go back to Aoyama soon._ He got up from his seat, seeing you sleeping peacefully and most of all  _safe_ made him feel at peace in a way. A part of him wanted to climb into the bed with you and lay there with you, to make sure you would stay safe, but he knew he couldn't do that. He smiled down at you while he walked past. He softly whispered goodnight to you and then left your room, untying the tie from his wrist, holding it close to his chest while he slept.

***

For the past five days, you had been glued to the television. Criminals all over the world had been dying of heart attacks. You would usually be worried about what your parents would think about your national exam results, but you could hardly care. After showing the Yagami’s your results you posted it to your family. Over the week it had become a habit to watch the news for a few hours to keep updated on everything, you had even found yourself writing down how many criminals a day had been dying. Pen in hand, your eyes were glued to the screen while you wrote down the names of criminals who would show up, it was so unbelievable, how was it even possible? Was it supernatural? Was it –

“(Y/N)” the sound of Light’s mother's voice cut through your thoughts and you looked over at her, she was holding a fruit basket of apples in her hands, “please don’t fall too deep in this, you still need to study.”

You nodded slightly while you closed your notebook, “Yes, of course, Auntie, sorry, I didn’t realise how much time passed.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled, she passed you the fruit basket, “I got these from the neighbours, would you mind taking these up to Light? Make sure he shares with you.”

“Of course.”

The apples did look amazing and you wanted to cheer that she had got them for the two of you to reward you both for your studies. Your parents would never do anything like that. They would rather have you strictly stay on schedule and remain in your room with no recreation time. You had always gotten the impression that they never wanted a child.

You knocked softly on Lights door before you went for the handle only to be shocked that it was locked, “Uh, hey Light wanna let me in?”

There was a pause, “Uh – yes – coming!”

You were confused but waited, you heard the click of the door and Light blocking the entrance, “Uh, may I enter?”

He hesitated for a moment before he stepped aside, “Oh, yes, of course…”

You raised an eyebrow at his act while you stepped in the room, “Why’re you acting so weird, oh my God turn on your light – there you go. Jeez Light you’ll ruin your eyes,” you shook your head before you put the basket on the table, “Auntie got them from the neighbours, and _yes_ we have to share, how tragic.” You joked.

Light stared at you in what you would only describe as utter disbelief while you grabbed an apple and sat down on his bed.

“Are you feeling okay Light? You look pale.”

He shook his head slightly, “I’m fine, I think I’m just tired,” he chuckled before he sat down on his chair, he watched you intently while you fiddled with the apple in your hands, not taking a bite from it. You seemed to want to say something but weren’t allowing yourself to speak.

“I better go study, I’ve spent too much time with the TV as is.” You said while you got up from the bed.

“Oh? Something catch your eye?”

“The murders – well, deaths of all those criminals, the heart attacks.” You shrugged slightly and made your way to his door, you were stopped from leaving by Light’s voice.

“Murders? Why would you use that word?”

You paused for a moment before you decided to speak, “It all seems too formulaic. It _can’t_ be a coincidence that all these criminals just started dropping like flies, no matter how convenient it sounds,” you looked down at the apple in your hands, “which only makes me fear whatever entity or human is behind it.”

“Why do you say that?” he leaned in, his eyes locked on you while you looked down. The light of the hallway made a halo effect to your hair, glowing beautifully like a crown, for a brief moment he wondered if you knew you were capable of such sweet moments.

You shook your head, a soft laugh escaped your lips, “It’s silly but – y’know, I think I’m just going to go study,” you sighed, “maybe we’ll discuss it another time. Keep your light on if you’re going to study okay? Night”

“Goodnight.” He called out to you while he watched you close the door behind you.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to give you guys a more decent sized chapter, hope you all enjoy !

Stress. That had been clouding your mind for so long. Stress and frustration. Not only had these murders continued, but there was also now a name for this killer _Kira,_ and there was a website to praise him. It would list names of criminals who deserved to die. You hated the idea of such a site, it had consumed your entire night at one point, from you cross-checking names to see if these people listed were truly criminals or angry ex’s. _Such a site is idiotic and if Kira truly is out there, I hope to whatever god there may be doesn’t get his information from such a site; there are known cases of the innocent being locked in gaol and receiving the death sentence. So, who is to say Kira hasn’t killed someone who was potentially innocent?_ You let out a soft sigh and closed out of the site. You couldn’t stand to look at it longer. You leaned forward on your desk, rubbing your eyes slightly, you needed to relax. That was what you needed. You needed to stop thinking about, school, life, and these damned murders. You just needed your mind to wander off to something else. Bed – bed was comfy, the clean sheets, the soft mattress, you could just curl up under the duvet and feel the warm comforting arms of Light snake around your waist – _woah. Stop that._

You shook your head slightly and made your way over to sit on the bed. These thoughts had been trapped in your head for the past couple of days. And it never helped that you tended to see him not long after these thoughts and he always found a reason to touch you. You could swear that he would do it on purpose just to mess with you.

_You stood near the bench, waiting for the kettle to boil, you had grabbed your teacup and had pulled out some biscuits from the cupboard. It would be a great study snack, although to be honest, you wanted to eat a million sandwiches. You heard footsteps behind you, you glanced around and saw Light making his way in, with a sort of skip in his step. You looked back at the kettle and put the packet back in the cupboard. You had almost dropped the kettle the moment you picked it up when you felt warm hands on your waist._

_“Sorry, but you’re in the way.” Light has softly said to you, as his hands moved you slightly to the side._

_He leaned over to the cupboard and opened it, only to look at it for a few moments before his hands were back on your waist to move you back to your original spot._

_“Hmm, it seems like what I needed wasn’t there.” He quirked a smile at you, he would have had to have known he didn’t need that cupboard, even_ you _knew everything that was in those cupboards. How could he not?_

_You looked up at him for a moment, you wanted to say something, but you were far too flustered to let words escape from your mouth._

_“But I think I’ll take this.” He leaned forward, one hand still on your waist while the other reached out for one of your biscuits._

_“Hey!” you giggled, while you reached out to grab the biscuit from him, you turned around to face him and he only held it up high above your head, “don’t steal my food.”_

_“You can grab a new one.” He offered; you felt your face flush while his hand stayed on your waist._

_“Why are you like this oh my god, give me my biscuit!” you jumped up trying to grab it from his hand._

_“I don’t see the big deal.”_

_“The deal is the lack of justice with my biscuit!”_

_“Oh, justice you say?” he smirked and held it to your face, “is me taking this from you injustice Ms. Lawyer?”_

_“Of the highest account, and I’m pretty sure I have a good case against you Detective Yagami.”_

_“Well then, I can’t argue with the law,” he said simply, before he leaned forward again, his chest pressed against yours while he put it back on your plate, you could feel the smirk on his face and hear his breath, “case closed?”_

_His voice gave you goosebumps, you could feel his hot breath against your ear._

_You gave a short nod before you felt his hand make your way to your shoulder, he gave it a short squeeze before he stepped away from you._

_“Don’t study too hard.” Were his last words._

You let out an angry sigh before you face planted into your pillow, letting out a muffled scream of frustration. _Why does Light have to be such a – ugh!_

The knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts and you made your way to open it, “Sayu?”

“I need some help with my homework, I’m not really getting it,” she showed you the papers, “we’re doing quadratic equations.”

You had a flick through the papers and looked through the questions, it was simple stuff, but you weren’t one to enjoy mathematics, you often avoided it at all costs.  You looked down at her with a smile, “How about we both annoy Light?”

She grinned at the idea and immediately raced over to Light’s room, she was knocking on his door, going on about why he had his door locked, by the time you rocked up over by her side he had unlocked his door and was looking at the two of you.

“What on earth?”

“Sayu wants some help with quadratic equations, and I just informed her how much of a genius you were.”

He looked up at you while Sayu passed him her papers, “Oh is that so? How generous of you.”

“I also want to see if you mess up anything.” You chuckled.

He laughed slightly, “I’ll take up the challenge,” he gestured for the two of you to come in, you had to hold your tongue when you felt his hand on your lower back to let you into his room. You looked up at him with a confused look on your face and he merely just smiled at you, “All right Sayu, let’s see what you need to do.”

Light had pulled up a seat for Sayu at his desk while he helped her, although he seemed to get distracted at moments, at first you thought he had been randomly glancing at you from time to time, but you quickly worked out that he was always staring slightly behind you. Although that didn’t make sense. You didn’t want to press it so you just kept quiet and sat laid back on his bed while you listened to him explain the work to Sayu.

“Am I boring you?” you heard Light ask you while he finished up explaining a problem to Sayu.

“You bet, I wonder if any of this is sinking in Sayu’s head, I think I’d rather watch paint dry.”

Sayu laughed at your comment, “(Y/N)’s the only one who can pick on my big brother.”

“I’m feeling ganged up on over here.” He said in a joking tone, you could practically hear the smirk on his face.

“Maybe you should.” you joked back.

You all looked over at the door when you heard the routine call for dinner. Sayu had immediately ran out of Light’s room while he protested that she should stay and do the last few questions, only for her to shout she’d do it later.

He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair, “Does she do this to you?”

“No, because I send her to you,” you laughed. You felt the bed sink next to you, when you looked over you saw that Light had also chosen to lay next to you, “has she drained you?”

He lifted up his hand, taking a look at it, “You know, if you look close enough, it looks like a corpse.”

You laughed and pushed his hand away, “You’re so dumb.”

“Says the one who wouldn’t help her.”

You rolled over to your side to look at him, “Why do that when I can get someone else to do it.”

He rolled over to face you, a slight smirk on his face, “I guess I see your point.”

There was silence for a moment between the two of you. Only, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Usually, you would be mentally writhing with embarrassment due to being so close to him. Yet at that moment, you were just happy to be close to him.

“Light, about that day with Matsuda.”

He seemed to pause for a moment and readjusted himself while he listened to you.

You paused for a moment, there were many things you wanted to say, how you didn’t like Matsuda that way, how you didn’t mean to make him mad if he was. Though you knew you could only settle with one, the others you knew would make this comfortable situation awkward, and that was the last thing you needed.

“How did you know where I was?’

He chuckled, “that’s your question? Ha, well, hard question, call it a hunch.”

“Your magic detective skills?” you teased.

“You bet,” he smiled, “have you seen him again?”

You shook your head and joked, “I’ve been hanging out with you too much.”

He smiled, “Better keep it that way then.”

There was silence for a moment before you spoke, “I should probably get down for dinner before Sayu yells that I’m missing out on some juicy scene with Hideki Ryuga,” you joked, while you sat up on the bed and stretched your arms up above your head. You could feel Light’s eyes burning into your back, you glanced back at him with a smile on your face, “you right there?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” he smiled before he sat up with you, he leaned against you slightly, “can you tell mum I’ll be a little late, I just want to finish up this work, I think maybe two more practice essays.”

“Fair enough, I can bring you up some food if you like?” you offered.

“Sure, I’d like that,” he smiled, he leaned his head against your shoulder for a moment, before he got up, “okay, I better let you go. Hanging around me is more boring than watching paint dry right?” he smiled at you before he glanced to the far corner, you almost wanted to ask him about it yet decided against it.

“Oh, so much worse,” you smiled while you walked to his door, when you glanced back at him, he shot you a short wink before he looked back at his desk, opening his side drawer, to grab a notebook, probably one of his study books.

You were taken aback but just turned away and went downstairs. Sayu had a bright smile on her face while she told you your show had just come on so the both of you could watch it together. You had grabbed your plate and sat on the lounge next to her, Sayu was gushing over Hideki Ryuga. You found it hilarious what a blushing mess she would turn into.

“Have you had a boyfriend, (Y/N)?” she asked you, taking a bite of the last bit of her food.

You paused for a moment, you had been in ‘relationships’, you had never truly counted them as something serious as you just found the most of the people you had been with turned out to be idiots that you didn’t want to have anything to do with, you gave a simple shrug, “Yeah but nothing significant. Boys in school are just silly.”

“You think that?” she tilted her head.

You gave her a nod, “Definitely, they’re far too immature for my taste.”

“What about Light though?”

You paused slightly, you knew you had to pick your words carefully, you didn’t want to break it to her that Light was your Hideki, “Oh Light is a different case,” you laughed, “he’s far above the boys in my grade.”

“I always picture you two being together,” she walked to the kitchen with her plate, you had started choking on your food.

“Um, why would you say that?”

Sayu - the sweet innocent child, just smiled brightly, “You’re the only girl he brings home and the only one he talks about.”

_Oh, you sweet, naïve child. I love you._

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Sayu.” You laughed, you got up to put your own plate in the sink.

Sayu just jumped excitedly before she hugged you, “But imagine! If Light married you we’d be sisters-in-law! We’d be one huge family.”

You pat her on the back, “We’re already a family, and you’re the best little sister I could ask for,” you ruffled her hair and laughed to yourself.

“I know silly but even closer! Oh! Could I be a bridesmaid!”

You pushed her off you while you laughed, “You might want to slow down there, no wedding vows will be exchanged you brat.”

Sayu was cut off from whatever she was going to say next by the TV changing. The soap opera changing to a news broadcast. The both of you raced to the lounge room to see why this happened.

It all hit you so fast. Lind. L. Tailor. His death. L. Kira. Kira was in Japan. _Kira was in Japan._ Your theory was right, Kira was a person. A person passing judgment. A fool. How could someone pass judgment like that on the public? What made him think he was worthy? No, no, you could understand it. But killing the decoy? Doesn’t that only show that whoever this was was a naïve child who didn’t understand the weight of his choices? You felt your heart pounding in your chest, tears welled in your eyes. This couldn’t be happening. You turned the TV off. Sayu didn’t need to see that, you pulled yourself together, wiping your eyes, you knew you had to be strong for her, “I think we should put on a movie; don’t you think so Sayu? What’s that romance movie you like, the one with Hideki in it? Actually – how about you put it on, and I’ll go give Light his dinner? I think that’s a solid plan.” You picked up Light’s plate from the kitchen and made your way upstairs, you had to talk to Light, he would understand your worries, he would understand you.

Your footsteps echoed throughout your head like the heartbeat in your chest. You felt heavy; it couldn’t be real. You knocked rapidly on Lights door, your heart was pounding so loudly in your ears. When the door eventually opened after being unlocked, you faked a happy voice, just in case Sayu could hear you, you knew Light could see right through it, “I brought you your dinner Light. Here you go.”

You knew he could see your watery eyes. You knew he could see you were overwhelmed. He took the plate from you and gestured for you to come in, “hey, how about you come in, it’s okay.” He whispered.

He let you walk in and your heard shuffling of him putting his plate down and the opening and closing of a drawer. You had just stood in his room, far too nervous to do anything, too overwhelmed, you hadn’t even noticed that you had started biting your thumbnail. You stopped when you felt Light grab your shoulders, you looked up at him, “(Y/N) are you okay?”

You shook your head before he hugged you tightly, whispering that it was going to be okay. He held you tightly to him before he sat you down on the bed, “Is this about what was on the TV?” when you had nodded, he hugged you once again, “it’s okay (Y/N). Hey lay down, trust me, just lay back.”

You listened to him and laid down on his bed, resting your head on his pillow, the same pillow Light would lay his head on every night when he went to sleep. Something about that was already comforting that you had stopped crying. You then noticed the lights had been turned off and you then saw him make his way over to you, he took his shoes off and moved the duvet cover, “Get under the covers, Ms. Lawyer.” He said while he got into the bed with you, and you got under the covers. He brushed the hair from your eyes before he gestured for you to come closer. When you shuffled near him, he pulled you to him, hugged you close.

“It’s all going to be okay.”

“How do you know that?” it was all you could think to say.

“Because we’re facing this together.” You could feel the vibrations of his voice while your head resting on his chest.

You laughed slightly, “You’re terrible.”

He chuckled, “I like to think that I’m a romantic.”

Your world stopped but you stayed calm, “What like Keats or Hugo?”

“I’d like to think: Yagami.”

You smiled slightly, “Cheesy.”

“I try,” he hugged you tighter, to which you returned, you never would have imagined you’d be in this position ever in your life, the circumstances didn’t make it any better. But you knew deep down, on the other hand, that you were comforted by the fact Light would do this for you.

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking in the scent of his body wash. How did he always smell so perfect? How was _he_ so perfect? How was his heartbeat so relaxing, how was it able to calm you down so perfectly?

Under your breath, you heard yourself mumble a thank you to him. You didn’t feel stupid. There was nothing stupid about thanking him for helping you, for taking you into his family, for being your friend, for keeping you sane, for everything.

“It is my honour,” he whispered back to you, you could feel his breath on your hair. Did he like the smell of your hair? Did you feel awkward against his body? Did he feel weird holding you, was he hoping it would end soon? Were you meant to go back to your room once you had calmed down?

“(Y/N), while I love that you have an active mind could you please settle it down so we can get to sleep?”

You froze completely, your eyes snapped open. You couldn’t make out much in the room, you could see the rough outline if him, his shoulder, arm, covered by the duvet.

“All right then,” you heard him say before he moved to lay on his back and he pulled you closer to have your head rest in the crock of his neck, “now that’s better. What’d you think?”

You just nodded slightly, his arm was under your back, as though he was hugging you, hesitantly you decided to return the favour, you rolled to your side and wrapped an arm over his chest. His free hand rested on top of yours. In a perfect world, the two of you were a couple. In this world though, the two of you were – his best friend. It was the only thing you could settle with, he didn’t love you. Not in the same way he would love a girlfriend. But for now, this was enough.

“(Y/N),” he broke you out of your thoughts – something he seemed to have a true talent of – there was a slight tone in his voice that sounded like he was about to attack you with tickles, “you’re doing it again. I can practically hear your thoughts.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, you wanted to play it off cool, “what am I thinking then?”

“Oh, woe is me, I’m missing out on my favourite activity: watching paint dry,” you could hear his smile, “or at least something along those lines, am I correct?”

You smiled slightly, “wow you know me far too well.”

He pulled you closer and you relaxed far more than what you were before. It felt natural. You nearly started barking apologies when in a moment where he readjusted himself and – as though in sync – you had too, except you felt so stupid when you felt your leg over one of his. Entangling yourself with him. You knew Light, if he didn’t want this, he would push you off and be quite stern with you, he knew his boundaries. Yet, he let you stay there. You could feel your heart beating far too hard in your chest, as though it was going to burst through your chest, you felt as though he could hear it. There was no way he couldn’t. All you could think about was how close your leg must have been to his crotch. Yet he was still fine with this?!

As though to calm you down, he squeezed your hand while the other squeezed you slightly. Your eyes soon closed, and you fell fast asleep.


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I have a patron and I'm thinking of starting to put the updates to these chapters and the drafts/storyboards up on there while I'm working on them. 
> 
> Chapters from this for now on will be put on there 24 hours before they will be published there. If you wish to support me there, here is the link: https://www.patreon.com/comicsandtea

Your days had formed a pattern. In the mornings, you and Light would make your way to school and attend to your studies. By the night, you would try your hardest to cross-reference criminals Kira killed to see if they truly were criminals or innocent people who did not have enough evidence against them. Especially on websites that would list names of alleged criminals for Kira to kill. You would stay up too late to find out all you could, every time you found evidence to prove that some names you saw were nothing more than boyfriends who had recently broken up with their girlfriends made you sick to your stomach. Every person who you found to be seemingly innocent, you couldn’t help to take note of their names and keep an eye out for them within the media, hoping that you would never see it. Over the week you had started to lose some sleep over it, the circles around your eyes only seeming to get darker. You were only thankful that you could hide the effects through makeup. You knew you couldn’t keep up with this act forever, but if you were going to, you would have to find a better system than what you were using at that moment. Although, you hardly had time to focus on that factor of your life, for the past week you had been trying to work out your feelings. After sharing a bed with Light, nothing between the two of you had changed, a part of you believed that this was because the two of you had known each other for years that something like that wouldn’t be the breaking point between you both. Yet, you felt almost annoyed that there was no change, a part of you wanted Light to look at you in a different, or something, anything. Then again, it was probably for the best that nothing would come from that. You were lucky he was still able to talk to you and treat you the same.

While you walked home with him after dark, things still felt like they usually would, the two of you talked about the day you had and your plans for the weekend, business as usual. You looked up at him, while he spoke to you about how his P.E. class went, his hands were shoved in his pockets, and his eyes glanced down at his feet, watching his strides for a moment as he spoke with ease, “- I think I might consider joining a sport team once I’m in university, that is if my studies don’t take up too much time.”

You laughed, nudging him slightly, “Don’t you think that’s unfair? Popular, smart, good looking,  _and_ athletic? Aren’t people usually only allowed two of those max?”

“You’d give me all those titles huh?”

“Yeah, only because none of them hides the fact you’re a goof.” You smirked as you reached up to mess up his hair.

“A goof? Really? Can’t you think of something more creative?” he ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment.

“It fits too well for an upgrade.”

He all the sudden seemed distracted, as though remembering something. You looked up at him confused, he looked as though he wanted to say something, “Light? Are you alright? You look like you’re on another planet.”

He was silent for a moment before he shook his head, “Oh, yes, I just remembered I need to call someone,” he pulled his phone from his pocket, you could hear the sound of a button,  _speed dial huh?_  He was silent again for a moment before he spoke, “Hey it’s me, you said you needed to tell me something?”

You walked on beside him, not wanting to look at him while he was on the phone, that would probably be rude.  _Who is he talking to? If someone really needed to tell him something couldn’t they just do it in person?_

“What’s wrong? Why are you telling me this all the sudden? You’re not usually like this.”

That line made you chime back in the conversation, while you would usually ignore his phone calls, at times putting your headphones in until he tapped your shoulder, you couldn’t help but to feel curious about it.

“It’s okay you can tell me.”

There was a beat before Light stopped in his tracks, freezing, phone still held to his ear.

You had taken a couple of steps forward and looked back at him, not wanting to speak and distract him, you gave him a look, checking that everything was okay.

“I think you shouldn’t stress so much about this, if you need me to, I’ll help you study,” he nodded at you slightly, “is that all? Okay, well I need to walk home with, (Y/N), I’ll talk to you at school.” He hung up and started walking again, taking his long strides ahead of you.

“Hey, is everything all right?’ you asked, trying to catch up, although you seemed to struggle for a moment.

“Yeah, it’s nothing, a friend from class is just nervous about the University entrance exams.”

You looked down for a moment, confused, “That’s a weird thing to call someone over, I mean, if they’re your friend, they’ll see you tomorrow.”

He seemed taken aback by your words but just shook his head after a moment, “They’re the anxious type, I suppose they didn’t want to talk about it in person.”

You let it go before stretching your arms above your head, a huge part of you wanting nothing more than to go to bed, but you knew you would stay up for your “Kira endeavours”.

“What about you?” You heard Light ask you.  _About what?_  This was out of the blue; how did you feel about your exams? He knew you were nervous. No point asking.

“Regarding what?” you raised an eyebrow below swinging your arms, letting them loosen up.

“Will you join a sport again?”

You were silent for a moment, you hadn’t thought about the idea of joining a sports team once you were in University, “Don’t know. I swim, I guess I’ll keep swimming, but I don’t think I’ll join any clubs over it.” You shrugged.

“It might be a good stress reliever for you, especially with exams coming up soon.”

You didn’t fully know what to say to that, you just gave a short shrug, mumbling words of agreement, not wanting to really go into it. You could barely fit anything else in your life with your research on victims, how were you supposed to fit training in there? “I mean it would probably have to be in the evening and that means I’d have to walk home at night alone, and with the way things are,” you paused for a moment, “I guess I’ll think about it.”

“I’d come with you,” he assured.

“Oh yeah, and watch me swim laps for hours, how entertaining.” You rolled her eyes.

“I can study while I’m there. Besides, you’d do the same.” He smirked slightly.

When the two of you arrived home, Light was quick to make his way to his room, without so much as checking in with his mother. You let out a sigh before you sat down on the lounge to watch the news. You could feel yourself building almost an immune system to all the horrific news.

***

Light closed his door gently, despite wanting to slam it in panic. He made his way over to his window and gently pulled a part of the curtain back, he could, in fact, see that Ryuk was telling the truth, someone had been following him. He sighed and turned the light into his room, wanting to present himself as the studious high schooler.

_“hyeh, hyeh, hyeh, well Light you sure played that one off smoothly, pretending to be on a phone call to talk to me, a wise move.”_

“Yeah well I can’t have (Y/N) know about you, talking out loud to myself will make me seem crazy, also, if someone is following me talking to you when they can’t see you wouldn’t be a smart move, it would make me look insane and more suspicious.”

“What’re you going to do next?”

“L suspects a high school student. Fair enough, I just need to test just how much the Death Note can do, and with the help of Dads police files – I’ll have my results back in no time.”

***

The weekend is the one time that you felt at peace. Especially Saturdays, it was always a perfect time to relax and get everything done, Sundays only reminded you that you had school the next day, you had recently dedicated it to studying for your entrance exams and keeping up on Kira – which had been extremely effective as school didn’t block you from checking the news. Saturdays, however, were the days you chose to talk a walk downtown and grab a coffee, a day to yourself. It was all you needed. You picked up your house keys and grabbed your coat and bag. You glanced over at yourself at the mirror and made your way over to Light’s room, you knocked on his door softly, you heard him fumble around his room, assuring you that he was coming. You let out a sigh and leaned on the door frame waiting for him to unlock the door.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, once he opened the door, nearly as always, he looked distracted as usual.

“I’m heading into town; do you need anything? Thought I should ask so an incident like last time doesn’t happen,” you reached into your bag and pulled out your phone and waved it slightly, “even have my phone this time.”

He glanced between you and the phone while you put it back in your bag and nodded slightly, “No I’m fine, are you seeing Matsuda?”

You were taken aback by his question and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, “I have nothing planned if that’s what you mean.”

“I see, so just the usual then?”

“I need to clear my head; it’s been crazy this week. You’re more than welcome to come.”

_Let the man do his studies (Y/N)._

You laughed slightly, clutching your bag, “No worries, I’ll see you this afternoon.”

He raised an eyebrow, before assuring you, “If I didn’t have any work to do, I’d come, maybe if I wrap up early, I’ll give you a call.”

You smiled and nodded before you made your way down the stairs. You were excited to get to your favourite café and read a book. Your friends had invited you to go shopping and grab a bite to eat, you knew it would quickly turn into a situation where the girls would want to go hang out with the boys, while you had no problems with the guys, you didn’t want to spend this particular free day worrying about other people’s drama and who liked who and who’s allowed to talk to who. You loved them all dearly, but you needed a break.

The moment you entered the café the smell of the food was the first thing to hit you, you had instantly felt comforted while you made your way over to a table at the corner of the café. You glanced through the menu, even though you knew what you would be getting as you hardly deviated from your routine. After ordering your usual you immediately dived into your book, it was a unique find at a thrift store, the plot description on the back had immediately drawn you in, a man who lived in a world where supernatural powers were common, was caught walking a thin line of good and evil, torn between the sides, the only thing causing him to walk this line is that on the side of evil a loved one who he knew had good intentions, that they were more than their choices. The book seemed to be a philosophical debate about how subjects of good and evil aren’t just black and white.

_Seeing him in such a way only brought pain to me, such a darkness around his light. How could someone I love, care for, and would dedicate my life to, be drawn to this side of life? What had made him like this? Was I not there for him? As I sat at the kitchen table, taking bites from my pasta, I watched him across from me, he played with his food, pushing it around the plate, seeming bored more than anything, as though he was waiting for any excuse to leave and never come back, to go to bed and drown the rest of the day away. Forget everything and pretend as though I was not there watching over him._

_I wanted nothing more than to ask him_ why _he was like this, why he no longer wished to talk to me. Looking into his now dark glazed over eyes I couldn’t help but to think: was this truly the boy I knew from my childhood? He had changed so much from the bright-eyed boy I once knew, the boy whose most deviant behaviour was to sneak out at night to visit me when he was scared, even then, he would only become more stressed that someone would find out that he wasn’t in his bed. The boy who would stay up late with me watching old movies and laughing about the little things in life. That boy who I cared so much about, where had he gone? Was he still there? If he was still there – was there a chance that he would ever come back or even want to come back?_

_At what point was this man no longer the man he used to be; how much change needs to happen to him before he’s a new being entirely? I don’t want to believe that he is different, I don’t think I am physically capable, “Thomas? Is everything alright?”_

_He seemed hesitant to answer, not willing to look at me in the eyes, he stabbed a piece of his pasta with his fork before twirling it around, looking at it as though it was so fascinating, as though it were a body part and he was examining it, which seemed to only make me feel sick to my stomach, “I’m fine. You’re the one who’s on edge.”_

_“I’m sorry?”_

_“You’re acting as though something's wrong, or that the way the world is changing is for the worse.”_

_“I don’t think perverse actions are the correct direction, yes.”_

_He just smiled, scrapping his fork on the edge of his plate to slide the pasta off, before he went back to pushing it around again, no true strategy to it all, or perhaps there was, perhaps for Thomas he was organising his thoughts, “See, you call it perverse. A term that usually comes with a negative connotation.”_

_“You’re trying to analyse my words?”_

_“No,” he shrugged simply, “just pointing it out to you. You express your distaste for how the world is changing but you’ll defend me to your grave. Some would find that hypocritical.”_

_“I can have a different opinion to you and still be your friend.”_

_“Over this topic though? This_ perverse  _topic?” he challenged, he stared at me intently in the eyes, I wanted nothing more than to disappear in the abyss, for those eyes that used to look at me with such joy and happiness to now look at me in this threatening stance, it made me feel so strange, as though I were prey in headlights, or that he was a lion waiting to pounce. He broke the eye contact when he dropped his fork to his plate with a_ clatter _. He picked it up and placed it near the sink before he left to his room._

“Excuse me miss, here’s your order.”

You looked up from your book and saw a smiling waitress who placed your food and coffee on your table, you gave her a quick smile and gave her your thanks before she made her way back to the kitchen. You marked your place in your book before you closed it to take a bite of your muffin. While you examined the cover. It was almost amusing to you how the cover was so luring to be some type of fun-loving action story of fantasy. Only for it to be an almost psychological thriller of twists and turns, intertwined with philosophical debates. It was such a juxtaposition, the cover protector to the hardcover book being brightly coloured, of two men who seemed to be each other's antagonists, dressed in an almost superhero and supervillain -Esque way. But yet, if you were to take to protector cover off to look at the hardcover, it was a simple black design with an ashtray and a gun. They were each so different from each other. It simply had to be done on purpose.

You stretched out and took a sip of your coffee. Perfect as always. Your ears perked up when you heard the sound of your phone, the small _bleep_ of the text message. You reached into your bag and looked through the message.

LIGHT (1)

_Hey, I think I should be done soon, if you’re still out we can grab a coffee? I definitely need to stretch my legs after all the study_

You were nearly shocked by the prospect of Light wanting to have coffee with just you, you couldn’t help but smile. You were about to answer his text before you received another message.

LIGHT (1)

_If we can’t I think we defiantly need to watch a movie tonight. It’s been a hard week for both of us._

You looked down at the message for a moment, _a movie?_ Just you and him? Or as a family event? You wanted to play it off coolly, you didn’t want to assume anything.

LIGHT

_I’m okay with either! Sayu will love that too!_

_No offence to Sayu but I think you and I need it more._

_We’ll do both, I’ll see you in a bit._


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

You sat on the lounge; your knees tucked to the side while you placed the duvet you had grabbed from your room over you while Light made popcorn. It all felt so strange to you, usually, if you were to have a movie night, Sayu would join, and sometimes Lights mother and father would join if the moment arose. But to sit in the lounge room, late at night when Sayu and Light’s parent were all in bed. If there was a chance you and Light watched a movie alone, it was in the afternoon when no one was interested in the film or because the rest of the family left during the film. You glanced over at Light in the kitchen, you could only make him out through the glow of the microwave and the TV, apart from that the house was submerged in compete darkness.

When Light returned with popcorn in a bowel, he grabbed the video and injected it. You hadn’t even asked what movie you’d be watching. He sat down on the lounge next to you and took some of the duvet before he placed the bowel between the two of you.

“So, what’re we even watching?” You looked over at him, already a piece of popcorn in his fingertips.

“The Ring,” he shrugged, “the Americans made their own version, I’m curious how accurate it is, I got it a while back but haven’t had a reason to watch it, and you also don’t need help translating.”

You took a piece of popcorn, adjusting yourself to get comfortable, “Fair enough, my mother used to tell me that story as a kid, then I read the book,” you shuddered before taking a bite, “so creepy.”

He chuckled, “Seriously? Your mother told you that stuff?”

You nodded, not being able to help yourself from letting out a laugh, “Yeah, practically traumatised me.”

“Well you’ll be fine,” he joked while he rubbed your back, “I won’t let that happen.”

“Oh, you a God or something?” you laughed, eyes fixed on the TV.

“Who’s to say,” he joked back, you could feel his arm leaving you, something you didn’t want to happen. You glanced to your side, he sat so casually, while you were curled up, he only had his leg crossed, “you think they’ll make a sequel? Hollywood and all.”

“Over my dead body.” He chuckled while he stared into the screen, you just shook your head with a chuckle before taking another bit of popcorn.

While the movie continued on you had eventually moved closer to Light from your constant jumping from the scares and readjusting yourself. Within the film Rachael had just found her son watching the tape, over the course of that time you had moved closer to Light, finding yourself getting scared, remembering your childhood stories and finding the only logical way to handle this was to be closer to a human being. To which Light found hilarious how jumpy you were from it all. You could hear him chuckle every time you jumped. You would roll your eyes or hit his shoulder from the comments but it didn’t stop you from sitting closer to him and resting your head on his shoulder as you watched the movie.

You didn’t remember falling asleep. You only remembered waking up, your body seeming to be rising up and down. As you slowly came to consciousness, you found that you weren’t in bed, you glanced around and saw that you were still in the lounge room, the credits rolling from the video, you adjusted yourself slightly and you felt pressure applied to your hip. It all seemed to come together for you at once, you were sleeping on Light, your head on his chest, you could see it gently rising and falling, the rhythmic sound of his heart comforted you, and seemed to soothe you. You paused for a moment, how had this happened? When you glanced to your side to see where the pressure had come from, while you couldn’t see completely, you could see the clear outline underneath the duvet of what must have been Light hand. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and found your thoughts frantically flying around,  _were you too heavy? Was he asleep too? was he awake and desperately wanted to get up? Were you bothering him?_

“Is overthinking a talent of yours?”

His voice almost made you jump, far worse than any jump scare you had seen in the movie. You glanced up at him, you had tried to move so you’d be sitting up but his hand had kept a firm hold on your hip, as though to tell you that you could still lay down, “Do you have a talent on calling it out?”

“I think so yes.” He smiled slightly. You took this moment to gather the position you were in, Light had his back against the arm of the lounge with his feet laid out on the end of the lounge, while you were laid between his legs. You found it almost sweet that he had covered you with the duvet, but couldn’t help to wonder how he managed to get you into this position as all you could last remember was sitting down with your legs tucked to the side against Light.

“How’d you sleep? You missed the best part where she comes out of the TV.”

You shuddered, “no thank you, I think I’m good.”

Your response only seemed to make him laugh, “I’m sure you would’ve loved it.”

“Oh yes, definitely, mm-hmm.” You joked.

Your head still rested on Light’s chest and you couldn’t believe how steady his heart rate was, yours was through the roof – perhaps you should get that checked out. You lazily watched the rolling credits on the screen when you felt Light’s fingers tracing patterns on your hip over your pyjama pants, you felt cold goosebumps travel up your body and you had to physical refrain yourself from shuddering. The action reminded you of how you would non-thinkingly run your hand over your notebooks while you were day dreaming, it almost felt like that same action, was Light thinking about something? He moved underneath you and you took that as a sign that he was getting uncomfortable and moved yourself to sit up, only to find yourself to be pulled back down after he adjusted himself. You rolled over to your stomach, your side feeling sore after being in the same position for so long. You felt the dragging movement of Light’s hand moving from your hip to your lower back.

“I hope I didn’t force you to stay like this,” you admitted.

“It’s fine, promise, you make a good blanket,” his hand rubbed your back and you felt your shirt ride up, three of his fingers making contact to your skin when he rested it on your lower back once more. You couldn’t help the small voice inside you wondering if he had done that on purpose, while a larger part of you tried to assure you that it was probably a coincidence it did not help the knot building up in your stomach while you tried to make your body not tense up. His hands felt so cool against your skin, you grabbed part of the duvet to bring it closer to you in an act of trying to get warmer but in actuality trying to hide your face from Light. The thoughts of his hand travelling up your body and exploring you plaguing your mind. You bit your lip to try and ease your mind. It would be so easy for him, if he wanted to, to guide his hand up underneath your shirt, to pull you closer to him, to kiss you. You wondered how his lips would feel against your neck, would Light be the type to whisper sweet nothings? Did he prefer to savour a moment or was he into the heat of the moment?

“What’re you thinking about?” His voice sounded distant, like a faint memory. You looked up at him and folded your arms on his chest under your chin.

“Why are you so concerned what goes on in my head?” you smiled, a playful challenge to him.

“Because I find you riveting,” he shot back, with a smirk, “I’m sure you can understand that.”

“Oh?”

“Well don’t you want to know what’s going on in my head?”

You wanted to hide your head in your hands to cover your blush, but you knew the drill, you would control yourself and look nonchalant over his comment, “Sure I do.”

Light pulled you up closer to him, causing your face to be closer to him, “Then I’m sure you can understand the torment of wanting to know.”

You didn’t respond, you struggled with making sure you didn’t have your gaze wander down to his lips, you only looked into his eyes or glanced to some parts of the room. Even in the dark light, you could feel his intense stare on you. You were so close to him; you could feel his breath on your lips. You just wanted to lean forward, to initiate the kiss, the tension of staying there, pulling at your stomach. You could now feel your heart beat in your ears, and on a shameful level within, between your legs. His hand was still on your lower back and you felt him move it smoothly down your side on your upper thigh.

You leaned in closer to him, his other hand moved towards your back, you closed your eyes preparing for the impact of the kiss – only to be caught off guard when you heard the piercing sound from the TV of the colour bars appearing. As though you snapped to your senses, you pushed yourself back and tried to act normal, “God it must be so late, we better get to bed.” You were the first to rise from the lounge and you grabbed the duvet, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Light, but you could feel his gaze on you while he got up and picked up the bowel from the floor.

You made your way upstairs and threw the duvet on the bed. Your lamp illuminated the room and you could feel your heart racing. You were defiantly frustrated, sexually and at yourself while you thought back on the interaction, one arm hugging your waist while you bit the skin of your thumb. You stood in your room, staring down at your bed, playing the scene back in your mind. Judging yourself for being so indulgent.  _As if I want my first kiss with Light to be on a dan couch – no you shouldn’t even_ want _to kiss Light stupid. But he’s so beautiful and -_ you shook your head and paced back and forth. You only stopped when you heard a soft knock on your door followed by Light entering.

You looked him up and down for a moment, you had thought he’d come up here to explain himself and perhaps tell you to back off, yet, he seemed so relaxed, he leaned on your door frame and had his eyes on you, the only break of contact being a quick glance to your bed, “That was a good movie, we should do it again.”

“Yeah, family movie nights are always great,” you smiled.

“Sure, but I’m meaning it as in just us.” There was a slight tug at his lips to be a smile, he pushed himself off the frame and made his way over to you, “your company is a treasure.”

You weren’t sure what to say and had only nervously laughed. You glanced down at the floor for a moment, not being able to meet his gaze. You felt him lean in closer to you and brush your hair away from your ear “and I still want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.” That comment sent chills down your neck; your knees felt weak.  _How was he capable of this?_

“Goodnight, (Y/N). If you have trouble sleeping, you know where I am.” He smirked at you before he left your room, closing the door.

You plopped down on your bed, resisting the urge to scream in your pillow.

_Damn you Light Yagami._


	9. CHAPTER NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decided to put this out straight away since my birthday wasn't that long ago, so it's like a gift !

“I’ve written more poetry since we last met up.”

You passed your notebook to Matsuda; he couldn't hide the smile of excitement on his face as he grabbed it from you and flicked through the pages to find the new entries, it was almost in a clumsy manner of him trying to have the papers gracefully flip through his fingers but chunks flipping instead. You hadn’t originally planned to meet up again with Matsuda since your last coffee with him. You couldn’t help yourself in the end, you couldn’t find a reason _not_ to meet up with him. You felt as though you needed to see and be around with someone who was consistent with how they acted around you. Ever since you had watched The Ring with Light, you were only receiving hot and cold readings from him, which only made you feel insecure about yourself. As though you did something wrong. There’d be moments when he’d linger around you for the moment longer than what he needed. The secret touches to your hand when he’d walk past you, the little smirk he would send your way when you were reading in the lounge room. Yet, there’d be moments when he wouldn’t notice you, or wouldn’t even talk to you once the both of you were home. A part of you knew that it was likely it was due to his stress about school, he had been locking himself in his room far too often to study.

 

You watched Matsuda read your poem. He was so concentrated as his eyes darted back and forth through the lines. You were curious about what he would think of it if he’d like it or not. While his hair wasn’t incredibly long, it was long enough to call into his eyes while he read, which for you, only seemed to add to his boyish charm. Once he finished, he looked up at you with a smile on his face, “You have a talent, (Y/N), are you sure you’re not going to be a writer?”

You nodded before you grabbed your notebook back, “No, I’m still set on being a lawyer, although, now I’m thinking of doing a double degree and I might go into criminology. I’m not too sure yet, but I do want to work within crime.”

He chuckled slightly, “You have so much drive and passion, I know I said it before, but I know you’ll do amazing whatever you do.”

“It honestly means a lot to hear that,” you smiled, before you added in a joking tone while you laughed at yourself slightly, “don’t think it’s the right way to find a husband, I’ll be so deep in work.”

“I'm certain you’ll find someone; anyone would be lucky to have you.” He smiled brightly when he said that to you when you looked into his eyes you could only see sincerity. How could someone be so pure and positive?

You laughed nervously, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, “You’re far too flattering to me Matsu, your girlfriend must be so lucky.”

It was his turn to nervously laugh, he rubbed the back of his head biting his lip slightly while he searched for the right words to say, a soft pink blush formed on his cheeks, “Uh, yeah she probably would be if I had a girlfriend.”

“You just need to find the right person, I’m sure the girls must be all over you.”

“Oh god no,” he shook his head, “I’m not seen as _that_ charming, and there aren’t any women who I work with that I’m interested in, or at least who I think I have a possible chance with, but even then they’re not really my type.”

You found it odd that Matsuda wasn’t interested in the women at his work, you had visited the police station on days Light couldn’t to give his father lunch. One of the things you had noticed was that there were many beautiful women who worked there, and to think that he wasn’t interested was fascinating to you. It made you believe that he was more likely to care about a woman’s personality.

“Are you interested in any girls Matsu?”

“Uh-” he hesitated for a moment, fumbling with his words, not knowing what to say back to you, when he had seemed to have an idea of what he wanted to say he was interrupted from the ringing of his phone, causing him to jump nervously and answer. You wondered how someone who was a police officer could possibly be so jumpy.

“Hello? Yeah, I’m just out on my lunch break. Sure, I can I’ll be there when I’m done here – wait what? Yes, yes, of course, I’ll be right there. Bye.” He jumped off his seat and grabbed his coat.

“Is everything okay?” you raised an eyebrow.

“An emergency meeting, I have to go,” he said, before he pulled out a scrap piece of paper and quickly jotted down on it with a pen he had in his breast pocket, before he passed it to you, a slight nervous tremble in his hand, “call me if you want to meet up again, I’m always free to talk to you, no matter what it is.”

You smiled when you took the paper, his handwriting was rushed but eligible. You smiled and waved goodbye to him while he rushed out, while looking so serious about wanted to get back to work, he still just looked like a young boy who was late for class. While you started to pack up your things into your bag, you entered his number into your phone’s contacts with a slight smile, you would probably send him a text later in the day, maybe you’d call him.

The moment you got home you laid down on your bed. You couldn’t even find the energy to get up, you looked through your phone for a moment, text messages, missed phone calls, the works. Although it wasn’t anything that truly drew you in, you placed your phone on your bedside once you rolled over and reached out to open your drawer, pulling out a photo of you and Light while also grabbing your red ribbon. You were tempted to grab your phone again and message him to see how his ‘outing’ as he had put it with his friend was going.

There was an inch of jealousy within you regarding the outing. Why couldn’t he take you? You sighed and placed the photo next to her before she tied her hair back with the ribbon. You laid back down, the photo laid on your chest while you stared up at the ceiling. You set your alarm to wake you in time for dinner before your eyes slowly closed and you fell to sleep.

The moment you woke from the buzzing of your alarm you were met with confusion, the moment you turned it off you looked around, you were covered with your duvet and the photo that had been resting on your chest was on your bedside. You rubbed your face in an attempt to wake yourself up before you got up out of bed, you could already hear Auntie Yagami calling out for dinner.

The moment you existed your room, you saw Light leave his, he was almost startled to see you, “(Y/N), how was your day?”

You shook your head slightly, “Yeah, it was good. How was your date?”

“Not a date,” he quickly corrected you before he followed you down the stairs, he then added in a joking tone, “if it were a date, I’d do something far more exciting than Space Land.”

You forced a chuckle, still feeling an edge of jealousy in the pit of your stomach, “Cute.”

He seemed taken aback by your blunt answer but nevertheless followed you to the kitchen and sat down next to you at the kitchen table, taking his usual right side of the table, you had always had the left side, he assumed this was because you could refill your class at the sink faster.

You always admired Auntie Yagami’s cooking, she always seemed to make the perfect meal no matter what. You were amazed that everyone had made it to dinner that night, Sayu had decided to eat in the lounge room while Lights parents and the two of you sat at the kitchen dining table, Lights father across from you and his mother across from Light. Light had his left hand resting on his leg, pulling at loose threads.

“So Light I heard you went on a date today?” His mother smiled sweetly.

You forced a smile while you felt your jaw clench.

 “Too bad you suffered from a bus-jacking,” his father said coolly while he took a sip of his tea.

“Light?!” his mother gasped, her hand flew to her mouth, “are you okay?”

That you didn’t know, you looked at him, shock was written all over your face, although he didn’t look at you, he just had his usual nonchalant expression on his face.

“It’s fine mum, I was just lucky enough an FBI agent was on the bus with me at the time, no harm done in the end,” he shrugged, “also I wouldn’t call it a date; besides I have my eyes set on someone else.” He made a soft glance at you, the left hand next to you that had been pulling at loose threads moved over to your thigh. Your eyes widened slightly, and you glanced over at him, but he didn’t look at you, just continued to eat.

“Aw, that’s out Light. Well, I’m sure if you just tell her how you feel and I’m sure everything will work out fine.” She smiled sweetly at him.

His hand squeezed your thigh slightly before he nodded in agreement, “Thanks mum, I’ll take great note of that.”

You continued to keep your head down and eat while Light and his parents continued to eat and discuss with each other at the table.

“Oh, (Y/N) that reminds me, your parents called, they wish to speak with you as soon as they can.” Lights mother smiled at you.

You raised an eyebrow slightly, “What, why? Did they say what’s going on?”

“Your mother said she wanted to discuss your results with you, to see what you wanted to do for your future.”

“I’ve already discussed that with her, she must have forgotten,” you said hesitantly, “you know my mother, she tends to forget the little things in life, her business is what matters the most.”

You felt Light’s thumb rub your thigh, but it seemed to be more of a comforting tactic than anything else, “I could come with you if you like?”

“Oh no thank you,” you then added under your breath, “I don’t need to be lectured how you’re better than me.”

“Well, I’m sure your prospects of being a lawyer will impress them very much.” She smiled sweetly at you.

“Thank you, auntie,” you paused slightly, your fork pushed your food around your plate for a moment, “I think I’m going to go to bed. Thank you for dinner auntie.” You pushed Lights hand off you before you placed your plate on the sink. You bid them all goodnight before you made your way to your room.

You checked your phone once more, to check if your mother had even bothered to message you. Nope. Nothing.

“Thanks, mother,” you rolled over to stare at the wall. The more you stared, the more it felt like it was expanding, stretching beyond your reach, ready to consume you in a way that wouldn’t kill you – but it would at least make you disappear. The idea comforted you for a moment, it felt like the same way how your covers would lay over you and soon after you’d fall into a deep slumber, neither existing or disappearing. But just in a peaceful state. Your eyelids felt heavy, the edges of your eyelids stung, although, you couldn’t pinpoint if this was because you were about to cry or if it was because you were just so tired. When you closed your eyes and felt the burning tears slide down your cheeks, it was then your brain clicked with your heart and realised that it was because you needed to cry. You bit your lip to try and not to sob, you didn’t want to bring attention to yourself. You couldn’t.

“Damn it,” you got up from your bed and wiped your eyes, you just needed a warm shower and then you could go to bed and forget the world; you grabbed your towel and made your way over to the bathroom, the moment you had opened your door you saw Light making his way up the stairs towards you, “leave me alone, Light.”

“(Y/N).” he attempted to grab your attention, but you just pushed your way to the bathroom, about to slam the door in his face before he stopped it with his foot, “(Y/N).”

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” you sighed, “I just want to shower and go to bed.”

“I know – I just wanted to say that if it was me that made you uncomfortable, I’m really sorry.”

Your mouth was agape, you wanted to say something, but you were caught for words, he was worried about what happened at dinner? You smiled slightly, letting out a sight before you shook your head and opened the door more, so you weren’t crushing his foot, “No, Light. It wasn’t anything you did, just family stuff.”

He leaned against the bathroom door and nodded slightly, “I’m still sorry though.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, and somewhere new, “You _really_ don’t need to be sorry.” You looked up at him and smiled slightly.

He leaned closer to you, his lips slightly parted, his eyes seemed filled with _something_ that you hadn’t fully seen in them before, you felt his warm breath on your neck, your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, taking in the sensation, “Let me know when you’re out okay?”

Of course, the moment he pulled himself away he had that smirk on his face. He knew what he was doing to you.

***

You weren’t exactly sure what Light meant by letting him know when you were finished up in the shower. The moment he suggested that the two of you would share a bed that night until you felt at ease again and not on the verge of panic. Which you were fine with. Yet, the moment you made your way to his room he shook his head.

“No, I think we should use your room, it’s your safe space, right?”

He wasn’t wrong, your room was where you felt the most at peace, but you didn’t expect him to want to be there. You just gave him a short nod while he placed your hand on your back and led you to your room.

It was small things like that, his hand on your back. The way he checked you were okay while you got into bed, if you needed more blankets if you were comfortable before he would get in, that made you think Light would make a wonderful husband. Not that you ever expected him to be _your_ husband. Although, you most certainly wouldn’t say no.

The moment he curled up next to you, you felt yourself sink in his arms, wanting nothing more than to feel close to him. His arms wrapped around you to pull you closer, his fingers gently played with your hair before he whispered to you, in a way that somehow _now_ gave you goosebumps, “I know I keep repeating myself at this point, but it wasn’t a date, and I am sorry if you were uncomfortable tonight.”

You rolled over to face him, you forced a joking tone to come off as okay, “Why does it matter to you so much if I think it’s a date?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at you, you could practically hear him giving you ten thousand responses.

“Who’s the one with the loud mind now?”

He seemed to be amused by your words and pulled you closer with a soft smile on his face.

“And Light.”

“Hmm?”

“Dinner tonight was nice.”

 


	10. CHAPTER TEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: violence
> 
> Hey sorry, my internet has been weird, hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Since its been so long I'm uploading this the same day as my Patreon post

You threw in your swimmers and coat in your gym bag, double checking you had everything you needed including some cash in case you wanted to grab food on your way home. Once you were sure you had everything you grabbed your bag and made your way to Light’s room, giving a sharp knock at the door. When he had opened the door and looked down at you wearing a baggier button-up and pants than you usually would, he was more than confused.

“What’s the occasion?” He raised an eyebrow,

“I’m following your advice; I’m going to try and get back into swimming.” You had a soft smile on your face while you spoke to him and it seemed to make him smile also.

“That’s great! Do you possibly want to leave later? I’m just really caught up in work then I can come with you?”

You shook your head with a slight chuckle, “I’m just going to go now while I’m motivated, besides I want to get back in time to see the night news. I’ll see you when I’m back!”

“Alright, let me know when you’re back yeah?”

“Ugh, so overprotective, Light!” you teased before you ran down the stairs, “I’ll be back tonight!”

***

You tapped the wall and stood up immediately, removing your goggles, “Anti-fog my ass,” you muttered to yourself before you cleaned them in the pool water and reached up for your drink bottle. The sun was almost fully set, a warm orange glow filled the water, the cold water of your bottle made you feel more relaxed and refreshed, it felt like ice compared to the pool water. You glanced to the side and saw a man sitting down at the bench, he had been there when you had first arrived at the pool, but there were many other swimmers there so you had just assumed he was waiting for a friend or had recently got out of the pool, however, now there weren’t any more swimmers apart from yourself, which only gave you more anxiety. You felt a shiver go down your spine, like the cold water down your throat. _Stop being so paranoid._ You pulled yourself out of the pool and immediately grabbed your gym bag and made your way to the restrooms.

You could feel your heart racing in your chest, a part of you prayed that he would leave soon or that he was just waiting for someone, _maybe he was waiting for a friend to come?_ You hurriedly put your clothes on, you were still buttoning up your shirt as you left the restroom, you just wanted to get out of there as fast as you could. A small part of you wished you accepted Light’s offer to come with you. You pulled out your phone and looked through your contacts.

You couldn’t call Light, he’d be busy right now, he was thoroughly in his studies when you had left earlier that day, but there was someone you could call.

 _Matsuda_.

You quickly dialled his number and out of the corner of your eye, saw the man get up from his seat. You picked up your pace as you walked and made your way outside, the moment he picked up and said hello you almost jumped from being so scared, “Ma-Matsu, can you come get me? I’m at the pool and there’s this gu - I just don’t want to walk home alone-” you yelped in fear when you felt yourself being pulled then pushed against the wall, cutting you off from talking to Matsuda.

“If I were you, I’d be really quiet.” His forearm was pressed against your throat and he placed his legs between yours to keep you from moving. He smelt of mint that made you feel incredibly dizzy from its strength.

This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be the man, this stuff doesn’t happen, not to you, you didn’t want to look at his face, you remembered being told if a criminals face is seen they are more likely to hurt an individual, but that was more for workers in retail and banks when they’re being robbed.

_“(Y/N)? Are you there? What’s going on?”_

“Matsu-” the words were barely a gasp escaping your throat, the man had just pushed his arm down harder on your throat while he silently shushed you in your ear, you could feel your throat and head becoming tight from the lack of air. You struggled against him, you tried to push his arm off you, but he was far stronger. He reached out to grab your phone; your heart fell into your stomach.

He snatched it out of your hand, and he looked down at it, before he could hang up you kneed him in the crotch. He yelled out, doubling over in pain and dropped your phone. You immediately picked it up and ran, he tried to grab you but only managed to have the buttons of your shirt rip off.

“Matsu please I’m at the pool a man is here and he’s trying to – leave me alone!”

_“I’m already on my way, hold on, (Y/N)!”_

“You bitch,” he snapped at you, you caught sight of his face, dark hair and eyes, a little scruffy, you felt disgusted. He started to pace his way over to you. You took a step back and felt yourself being trapped by the wall of the building.

His eyes were fire, and his smile the devil, there was a brief moment where you acknowledged this may be how it all ends. But you were forced out of your thoughts when you saw him freeze. The sinister look now that of fear. _What on Earth?_

“D-Demon!” he pointed at you.

You were completely taken aback; you had feared this man mere moments ago, his arm on your throat, ready to do god knows what, yet now he seemed to have completely changed.

He screamed falling backwards, “I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me!”

You heard the sound of a car horn beeping and turned your head to see Matsu calling out to you from the driver’s seat. You immediately ran over to his car, looking back at the man one more time to see him run away.

Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you tried to catch your breath as Matsuda sped off. It was silent in the car for a moment, you hugged your middle tightly and leaned against the car door, you couldn’t find it in you to speak, the very thought of opening your mouth making your eyes burn  “Thank you for coming here so quick.”

“I was in the area,” he explained, able to hear your curious tone. He shifted in his seat for a moment before he spoke again, “did he do anything? You can tell me if he did and I can see if there’s anything I can do to press charges.”

You forced your eyes shut and tried to control your breathing. You never saw yourself getting in a situation like this. You never had. That man, he was nothing like you had seen before, that smell, you always expected if you were to be a victim in this situation that he would wreak of alcohol and dirt. Not of mint. _Mint_. You tried to think of what he was wearing, it wasn’t what you were focused on, you hadn’t focused on him at all, your brain was rushing in panic so much you hadn’t thought of paying attention, or did your brain just not want to remember.

“(Y/N)?”

You gasped with a jump before you calmed yourself down, after the assurance that it was just Matsuda. You closed your eyes for a moment only to cause your brain to go back to that scene, flashes of having his arm against your throat, the smell of mint, and those eyes, they stared directly into you yet you couldn’t describe them, you could only see them as evil, filled with dark mischief. You shook your head as though to wake yourself up and to answer Matsuda, you hadn’t even noticed that he had pulled up on the side of the road to park. He was turned in his seat to face you after he turned off the car, “I want to help you, (Y/N). I can’t even imagine how that must have made you feel.”

You were silent for a moment and nodded to him, “I don’t even remember his face, your guess is as good as mine.”

“We can still do something. I promise you; I won’t just let this happen.”

You smiled slightly at the comment and looked up at him, “He didn’t even do anything, I’m okay, I’m just shaken up.”

Matsuda gently reached out, the moment his fingertips brushed against your neck while he brushed your hair away, you flinched slightly, “You don’t deserve this.”

Your skin felt hot where he touched it, and you felt it rush to your cheeks, you weren’t sure if his touch felt this way because of coming off the high of adrenaline or if it was something else.

His hand lingered for a moment, as though he was inspecting the marks on your neck that was slowly forming a purple bruise, he pulled his hand away, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Really.”

There was silence for a moment, but it wasn’t a silence of awkwardness or weird tension, there was a comfort to it, knowing that he was there for you and just giving you time to collect your thoughts.  
“Do you want to stay with me tonight,” he seemed shocked himself that he had said that but didn’t back down from the offer.

You chuckled slightly, although it seemed to take up all your energy, “As much as I really appreciate the offer Matsu, I think I just want to go home.” You brought your knees close to your chest, you curled up on the seat and stared out the window of the car, it was completely dark while you watched the world pass by.

“Of course, I’m sure the Yagami’s will look after you, I know they will.”

You let out a soft sigh, “Not there Matsuda, I want to see my to my parents.”

He was taken aback by your statement, you never had spoken much about your parents but a common theme he could grasp was that you didn’t get along with them. He found it strange. Nevertheless, he followed your instructions.

You felt the car stop, your eyes focused and you could see the pathway to your house, your _real_ house. A small part of you wondered if your parents would even answer. All you knew was you couldn’t face the Yagami’s. You heard Matsuda make a comment to you, although you weren’t fully paying attention, you just gave a short nod and hum before you left the car.

You looked at the front door, the frosted glass glowing yellow from the lights on the inside. You took a deep breath in before you walked up the pathway and knocked on the door. Your knuckles white while you held onto the strap of your gym bag. Holding back your tears. You slowly counted to yourself to calm down.

The click of the door being unlocked brought your attention away from your fee, and there you saw her, your mother, she hadn’t even dressed for bed yet, her hair was still well done and her uniform on, the only sight of ‘dishevelment’ being her untucked shirt from her grey pencil skirt, “(Y/N)? What on earth are you doing here? What’s happened to your shirt-”

She had stopped herself when she fully looked at your face, the tears streaming down your cheeks as you looked up at her, she stopped herself from speaking further and held the door lightly in her hands, not sure why you were like this, why you seemed so out of sorts, when she heard your shaking voice, “Mum, can I please stay here tonight.”

She gave you a sympathetic look before she fully opened the door and pulled you close to her in a warm embrace, “Of course you can darling.”

She led you inside, she took your bag away from you and placed it down near the shoes, before she sat you down at the kitchen to make you a cup of tea. Your father who had been reading the newspaper, had asked who was at the door, when he looked up from his paper to make eye contact with his wife he had stopped completely when he saw you there. He was unsure how to react and just pulled up a seat for you, to which you accepted.

You didn’t speak of what happened to them, you had just said you were stressed and wanted to be home for a few days. To your surprise, they hadn’t even brought up your career path, a sinking suspicion within them knowing that you weren’t just there because of your studies but didn’t want to push the topic with you.

***

“That’s great! Do you possibly want to leave later? I’m just really caught up in work then I can come with you?” he asked her, she seemed happier than usual, the motivation practically glowing in her eyes. He couldn’t help but smile, in truth, he’d rather go with you at that moment, but he just needed to finish everything.

She shook her head with a slight chuckle, “I’m just going to go now while I’m motivated, besides I want to get back in time to see the night news. I’ll see you when I’m back!”

“Alright, let me know when you’re back yeah?” he raised an eyebrow at her while he leaned against his door.

“Ugh, so overprotective, Light!” she teased before she ran down the stairs, “I’ll be back tonight!”

Light watched her while she left, a little smile on his features before he looked back to his desk. He pulled out the Death Note from his draw before he ripped a piece of paper from it, “Ryuk, keep an eye of (Y/N) for me, won’t you?”

_“What makes you think I’ll help that human?”_

“Nothing,” he said bluntly – which had shocked the Death God, unable to hide the look of surprise in his eyes - before he waved the piece of the note at the Death God, a hint of persuasion laced in his voice “but it would be far more interesting than being with me in my room all day.”

The Death God just laughed before he snatched the paper from Light, “There’s no way you’d know if I use it for this you understand that don’t you?”

“Of course, but what is the use of worrying about such matters? Either you do or you don’t, but I’m sure it would be more fun my way.”


	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I thought I had posted this!

CHAPTER ELEVEN

(Y/N) hadn’t been home in so long. Light found it rather odd. When he had asked his mother about it she didn’t seem too fazed, she said the (L/N)’s called and said that she had come home and wished to stay there for a while. When Light questioned his mother more about it, she had laughed reminding him that she didn’t have to go to their house if she didn’t want to. Although, it was clear that her presence was missed. But what Light couldn’t shake off was how (Y/N) had called his mother about it and hadn’t replied to his text regarding the subject.

He knew what he had to do when he was back at school, he would have to confront her about it. Ryuk’s laughed about the subject did not help Light’s situation and only made him grow more frustrated. Had Ryuk seen what made her go home to her parents? He knew there was no way the death god would let him in on the secret.

He caught sight of her almost instantly when she walked into school, she had a takeaway coffee in her hand, she was laughing with her friends. Her hair pulled back away from her face and her uniform only slightly unkempt. He knew the girl with the long braid who was hugging (Y/N)’s arm for support while she laughed was Yuri, somehow still trying to have the spotlight on her; and the second girl with short, perfectly straight brown hair was Ena. They were the main girls (Y/N) would hang around with, they were the main trio. Light adjusted his shoulder bag and made his way over to her. She hadn’t seemed to notice him until he called out to her and one of the girls pointed him out. A flash of concern appeared in her eyes before she smiled, “Oh, hey Light.”

_“Hyeh, looks like she’s not that keen to see you.”_

He desperately wanted to hush the Death God.

“Hey, so you didn’t come home the other night and I think my texts aren’t going through, just wanted to check that everything is alright?” _absolute lie,_ he _knew_ his texts had gone through but she wasn’t answering, and there was no nice way to call her out on that.

“Oh yeah,” she glanced over at Yuri who was still hugging (Y/N)’s arm, looking up at her with wide baby eyes, “sorry I’ve just been stressed about some stuff and needed to talk to mum about my future career path and all that stuff so yeah . . .”

He glanced over to Ena, who only seemed to be holding back some smile which only made him think that either she wasn’t telling him the full truth because of them, or they were in on some joke he didn’t understand, “Well then, would you like to come over this afternoon? Sayu has been missing you and I wouldn’t mind some help with study.”

He immediately noticed Yuri tug at (Y/N)’s shirt, although he wasn’t sure if that was because she wanted her to leave or was excited for her. She hesitated for a moment before giving him a smile, “Uh sure, I’ll see you after school then.”

Yuri pulled her away and said goodbye to him in her high-pitched voice before she went back to talking to (Y/N) about god knows what.

For the rest of the school day he noticed her sticking around her group of seven girls, he didn’t know the names of the others, but he never fully sure a reason to since he never had to talk to them; _only this time it really mattered._ This was because during the breaks her group was now sitting with his group. He knew Yuri had a crush on him and one of his friends, so it only made sense she’d initiate combining the groups to spend time with each other. During lunch, he would steal glances at (Y/N) who seemed a bit more reserved than usual. On days where she would sit with her friends or even his if she needed a break, she usually was very keen to talk and make jokes, while today she seemed to be more content with eating and watching everyone.

Ryuk groaned walking around in circles around the group, _“Light c’mon can we do something? It’s so boring to listen to these humans talk on and on.”_

“I’m just going to refill my bottle, do you need me to do yours?” he looked over to (Y/N), he just wanted an excuse to talk to her, as though that would confirm to him that she was okay, that everything was okay – and so he could take Ryuk on a brief walk.

“Could you do mine Light!” Yuri smiled, holding her water bottle out for him, a little flutter to her eyes, and a small smirk on her features. He glanced over at (Y/N) who just held her water bottle up to reveal it was full.

He held in a sigh and grabbed Yuri’s water bottle before he looked around at everyone else, to seem polite, “Anyone else need a refill?”

Taigen, the other boy he knew Yuri had her eyes set on got up with his water bottle in hand, “I could use the walk.”

Taigen was a handsome boy, Light could acknowledge that, while he wasn’t the most academically advanced student, he was brilliant at sports. He had the dishevelled look that the girls seemed to like.

“Light, you seem tense, what’s up?” he said almost too simply while he filled up his bottle.

Light raised an eyebrow slightly before he just shook his head, clearing out the sound of Ryuk’s laugh, “Just the exams, I haven’t been sleeping too well.”

“You and me both. You shouldn’t stress though,” he smiled up at Light, while he screwed the lid back on his bottle, “you’ll do great.”

Light chuckled slightly at the comment before he filled up his and Yuri’s water bottles, “Thanks,” he paused for a moment before he put the lids back on the bottles, “has Yuri driven you insane yet?”

“So negative, Light,” he chuckled, “planning on asking her out to study.”

“Yeah well be careful, she tells every detail to her friends,” he shrugged while they walked back.

“What and we don’t?” he laughed, “I suppose you don’t spill anything on (Y/N) I’m wondering if it’s because you’re noble or if there’s just nothing to tell.”

Light didn’t react to the comment, while on the inside he wanted to snap at him.

_“Oh? Not a fan of that are you, well can’t react now Light, don’t want to ruin that perfect image of yours, or whatever it is you think you have. To be honest, if you did something, it might actually be interesting.”_

_Damn, Shinigami. Acting as a devil on his shoulder._

He faked a laugh, “Ha, I won’t force you to believe either, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“So secretive,” he smirked before taking Yuri’s bottle from him. By the time they had reached the group, Taigen was fast to give Yuri her bottle, adding a little wink to it before he sat back down in his spot.

Light sat back down, not fully focused on what was being talked about, but from quickly reading the situation, he guessed Taigen had asked Yuri on a study date. Light glanced over at (Y/N) as though sending a message to her _who didn’t see that coming?_ He was glad to see her return a small smile with a slight shrug.

***

He waited by the gate after school, hoping (Y/N) was telling the truth when she said that she would come there to see him. The jeers of Ryuk didn’t help the situation but he just did his best attempts to ignore the Shinigami. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder, a pain starting to emerge in his muscles, he checked his watch briefly, she would have been out of her class a few minutes ago. When he looked up from his watch, he saw waving her arm out to him while she walked over.

“Sorry I’m late, Yuri wanted dating advice,” she explained, “which is a bit strange because she’s had more boyfriends than me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured, a small smile forming on his features, he gestured for her to follow and they started the trek home.

“How has home been?” he asked her, she seemed to watch the footpath while she walked, which wasn’t different from usual, but after not seeing her for a while he just wanted to look at her.

“Okay I suppose,” she nodded, “mum said she got a promotion at work, so that exciting.”

Not exactly an answer he was hoping for, “how have you been?”

“Yeah, I’ve been good, just busy.”

“ _Hyeh, hyeh, hyeh! How does it feel to have your friends lie to you Light?”_

_So something_ did _happen when Ryuk watched her the other day, of course, he won’t tell me but at least my suspicions are confirmed,_ “You know, if you ever want to tell me something, you can. I’ll be here.”

“I know,” she said simply.

“ _HYEH! HYEH! HYEH!”_

Sayu was quick to give (Y/N) a hug the moment they walked through the door to which she only accepted gratefully, “(Y/N) and I are just going to do some study,” he called out to his mum while he made his way upstairs, (Y/N) close behind him.

While waiting for him to open his door, she couldn’t help but notice him fiddling with everything. _Had he set up a type of system to see if anyone came in his room?_ That had to have been something new, she never noticed anything of that kind while she was there, unless she had just never paid attention to him opening his door. She glanced across the way and saw the door to her old room shut, a little paper sign with what looked like to be Sayu’s handwriting stuck on the door:

(Y/N)’S ROOM

She smiled; she must’ve put that there as an act of protection against any guest that would attempt to sleep in it. When she heard the familiar click of Light opening his door, she followed him inside, placing her bag on his bed while she rummaged to find her study books. She was taken aback and almost screamed when she felt his long arms wrapped around her, in the panic all she could manage to let out was a gasp.

“Sorry,” she heard him apologise as his grip loosened on her and she turned to face him, “I just missed you, and I doubt you would have wanted me to hug you in front of your friends.”

He was right, it wasn’t what she would have wanted, but things like that hadn’t bothered him in the past, _was he actually the one who was nervous to do so?_

She bit her lip slightly in an attempt to stop the tears from her eyes, he had missed her too. A dark part of her mind thought he would be furious at her for just leaving with no word. Without a second thought, she hugged him tightly around his middle and he hugged her back, his hand stroking her hair while his chin rested on the top of her head which only gave her comfort.

Light couldn’t help but notice that a wet patch was forming on his chest, he glanced down at her and pulled away slightly and he saw her wiping her eyes, “Hey, are you alright? What’s wrong.”

She shook her head, “I just really missed you.”

He didn’t want to push it and just led her to sit down on the bed with him while he rubbed her back, “I missed you too.”

“Will your parents mind if I stay the night?”

He laughed slightly, “You live here, you don’t need to ask.” He squeezed her shoulder and she smiled as she wiped her eyes.

“Thank you, Light,” she paused slightly, “we should probably study?”

He held back a laugh, “I actually lied about that. I just wanted to see you.”

She playfully hit him on the shoulder before he pulled her closer and she rested her head on his shoulder, “You jerk!”

“Can’t help it,” he smiled, his fingers running through her hair.

She seemed to relax after that. For the next half an hour they laid back on Light’s bed talking about their exams and friend groups. (Y/N) was on her phone, going through texts to share with Light about Yuri and Taigen. His arm rested under her while she rested her head on his shoulder,

“She’s got a crush on you too, but I think since Tai’s made a move she won’t really try now,” she shrugged slightly before she closed her phone and rolled over to place her phone on his bedside. She rolled back over and laid on her stomach, her elbows propping her up.

“Well, her going for me will be a bit fruitless.”

“Not for her,” she laughed, “she loves the chase. Or so she tells me.”

“The chase is only fun if it’s mutual though.”

She shrugged, “Tell that to her.”

“Perhaps I will,” he chuckled, “Hey, what would you say to another movie night? Or if you’re not up for that a book night?”

“I think, I could do with reading,” she said, “I’ve got a book I really need to finish, and last movie night you tried to give me nightmares!”

He smiled, holding in a chuckle, “Alright, alright. You better use the shower now before Sayu steals it.”

She nodded in agreement. He watched her leave the room and heard her call out a teasing “ _Saaaaayuuuuuuuu~”_ before she sprinted, followed by Sayu’s screams.

“(Y/N) DON’T YOU DARE!”

He got up from his bed and shut the door. He pressed his ear against it for a moment to be sure he wouldn’t be heard. He turned to face Ryuk, who had been standing near his window.

_“Honestly Light, how do you manage to act like I’m not here? I don’t know if I should be impressed or insulted.”_

“Take both, they’re free,” he waved him off, “now, (Y/N), what happened?”

_“Hyeh, hyeh, what makes you think I’d tell you?”_

“Because,” he stated simply before he sat in his desk chair, “I haven’t been craving apples recently.”

Ryuk’s eyes widened, _“Don’t say things like that!”_

“What, the truth?” Light raised his eyebrow, “sorry Ryuk, but I can’t help that. Although, perhaps if you were to tell me, I could ask mum to get some from the store.”

_“You can’t bribe a Shinigami!”_

“How unfortunate,” he shrugged, before he got up from his seat and opened his bedroom door, “Hey mum-”

_“Light what are you doing?!”_

“When you go to the store next, can you get some oranges instead of apples?” he called out.

_“Let’s not be rash about this!”_

Light smirked when he heard his mother’s voice call up to him, “Are you sure? I can get you both?”

“No thank you, just oranges please.”

_“Alright, alright! Stop it!”_

_Hmph,_ “Actually, no you’re right can we get both?”

“Of course, sweetheart, dinner will be ready soon.”

He called out a thank you to his mother before he walked back into his room and sat down at his desk, “So, spill.”

Ryuk rolled his eyes, or at least what Light _assumed_ a Shinigami would look like if they were to roll their eyes _, “She was in a situation with a human at the pool that night.”_

“What?”

_“I used the paper method we talked about and he ran away the moment he saw me.”_

“Did he hurt her?” his jaw was clenched.

_“No,”_ Ryuk said simply, _“she was grabbed then let go.”_

“And you wouldn’t tell me if anything more happened, would you?”

_“Nope,”_

Light rolled his eyes in return and rubbed his eyes while he thought over it. While he was glad he had sent Ryuk, a small part of him wished he just went to the pool with you, it’d be unlikely for someone to hurt you if he was there with you, it’s easier to attack someone if they’re alone, “And I’m assuming that means you won’t tell me who it is?”

_“If I saw him again, I might point him out, or I might not there’s no saying”_

“How reassuring.” He sassed back before he grabbed her bag and put it in her room before he knocked on the bathroom door letting her know dinner was soon.

Dinner went as smoothly as usual, and seemed slightly livelier, even if Light’s father was tired from his work on the Kira case. By the time the rest of his family had gone to bed he and (Y/N) were sitting on her bed reading their respective books. Light had settled with reading textbooks while she had chosen to read a novel, he couldn’t remember the title, he could only remember that she had said that it was philosophical. The golden glow of the lamp in her room was all they needed to see their text. When Light had glanced over at her, she was glued to the book and unable to take her eyes away from the page. He smiled slightly and put his book on her bedside and rested his head on her shoulder, reading the page, nothing really sticking in his brain.

She didn’t fail to notice – he would have found it odd if she didn’t notice that he was leaning on her shoulder – and placed the book down on her lap, “Is Light Yagami getting tired?”

He shook his head, “No, just can’t be bothered to read more of that textbook.”

She chuckled slightly, nudging him, “Dork,” she adjusted herself and got under the blankets, shivering slightly.

“Do you need another blanket?”

“I’m not a baby,” she laughed, she stretched her neck slightly, waiting to hear the crack, she noticed Light also got under the blankets with her.

He wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer and grabbed the book, “How about I read to you?”

“You don’t even know what it’s about.”

“I’ll fill in the gaps,” he squeezed her shoulder, “where were you up to? There? Alright . . . _It would be foolish of me to ignore that Thomas had something on his mind, yet he wasn’t talking, a common act of him if I were to be honest. Even when we were children he would often keep things to himself, whether if it was something as simple as not liking how the sun was far too bright and would give him a headache to disturbances at home; it was the one thing about him that had stayed consistent throughout the years. He just sat there, flicking through the television. With every click of the remote, he would swing his hand around almost like a dance. A part of me only wished to kneel beside him and take his hand in mine and as him what was wrong. But of course, I didn’t. I just sat down at my seat on the lounge, as though I were stuck, tied in place. Would he even want me to check on him?_

_“It seemed Thomas had finally settled on watching the news. A report of an alleged terrorist attack on a local council building, twenty-two dead. The more the reporter spoke, and the more I watched him biting his fingernail I found that I just couldn’t hold my tongue, ‘was this your lot?’_

_“‘my lot? That’s rich.’ He rolled his eyes and adjusted himself in his seat, chewing on the skin of his thumb._

_“‘You know what I mean,’ I tried to apologise. I always felt as though I had to apologise to him, not because it was what he wanted out of me, but because I didn’t want to hurt him. I watched him while he got up from his seat and threw the remote at me. He mumbled something under his breath about how he didn’t see why I had to jump to conclusions. I got up from my own seat and followed him to the kitchen, he had opened the fridge and was looking through it. I glanced at his hand on the door, his fingertips rested on a photo that we had taken together when we were teens, back when we seemed closer, ‘People died, Thomas, innocent people, and you think I’m being over-reactionary? Or are you just okay with being a murderer?’_

_“Thomas glanced at me with a deadpan expression before he grabbed a can from the fridge, the familiar_ crack _sounding when he opened it. He closed the fridge with his foot all the while keeping eye contact with me. Before he made his way to his bedroom, ‘I didn’t-’_

_“‘You didn’t mean it- I know – you never mean it,” he interrupted me before he opened his bedroom door, he took a step in before he paused for a moment. My heart stopped in my chest, a huge part of me fearing what he had to say, ‘and no. It wasn’t_ my lot _.’ He closed the door behind him.”_

Light glanced down at her, expecting to find her asleep from him reading only to see her awake, curled up next to him, her eyes fixed on the page. She looked up at him, almost coming off as a young pet begging you for food.

“Do you want me to continue?” he asked, she smiled slightly and shook her head before she took the book from him and marked the page before she placed it on her bedside. She laid on her side pulling the duvet up to her chin, Light leaned over her and turned the lamp off before he laid down beside her and wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer.

“Light,” he heard her whisper and he looked into her eyes, “you should be careful how you behave around girls. You might give them the wrong impression.”

“What?”

“If you keep doing stuff like this, girls will think you like them. You can really hurt them.”

She rolled over to face the wall and closed her eyes, waiting to sleep to take her away. Although, her ears could not help but perk up when she heard his voice.

“But I don’t do this for anyone else.”


	12. CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little christmas gift, this is set in the past since i never wrote you all a christmas chapter  
> Sorry for being gone for so long xx Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect a new chapter soon !

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! GET UP LAZY!” the high-pitched voice of Sayu woke her up with her jumping onto her bed. With a groan, she rolled over and rubbed her eyes for a moment. Once open, she could see Sayu holding out her red ribbon for her.

“Did you wake up Light?” she asked, taking the ribbon from her hand and tying her hair up, “or am I your only torture victim?”

“Light’s already up,” she giggled and hopped off the bed, “come on, mum’s already made food!”

She smiled and got up from her bed, and put on her black turtleneck with a long skirt before she made her way downstairs, she could already see Light being pestered by Sayu who had a wide grin on her features, “Sorry I slept in,” she apologised before Sayu ran up to her and grabbed her hand, pulling her over to the lounge, Light following along.

“It’s all that studying you do,” Light teased poking at her shoulder before he sat down on the lounge. Sayu having (Y/N) sit on the floor with her.

“Says Mr Scholar,” she smirked, her back resting against his legs, she leaned forward and picked up a gift wrapped in brown paper with a gold bow, “Here Sayu, this is for you,” she grinned.

Sayu excitedly took to package from her and ripped the paper open, inside a navy box, when she opened the box to reveal a thin silver chain with a dainty flower pendant on it, she grinned widely and jumped onto (Y/N) an _uff_ escaping her when she hugged the girl, “Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! I love it!” the moment she had let (Y/N) go she took the necklace out from the box and put it on.

“I knew it’d look perfect on you,” she smiled, Sayu immediately got up and ran over to her mother to show off the new necklace, (Y/N) chuckled slightly before she reached over to a red wrapped gift and passed it to Light, “and this one is yours, hope you like it I was a bit stuck, you give next to no hints on what you want.”

He chuckled slightly and pointed to a gift that was yours and watched you pick it up before he started to unwrap his, he was taken aback to see that inside the box was a black fountain pen, he hadn’t expected you to get him anything like that, when he looked over to (Y/N) she had a worried look on her face, “Do you like it? I can get you something different if you like –” she spoke on for a bit and Light couldn’t help but smile as her nervousness and cut her off.

“It’s perfect,” he assured her and slid down from the lounge to sit next to you on the floor, he closed the box and placed it down next to him, leaning towards (Y/N), his hand resting behind her while she started to unwrap hers, he wanted to catch every detail of her reaction. She opened the box and gasped when she saw a black notebook, with her initials monogrammed in gold.

“Oh, Light I love it!” she grinned before she pulled him into a tight hug that had almost knocked him over, the lounge being the only thing saving him. She let him go and traced her fingers along the cover, the smile hadn’t left her lips.

“I know you like to write,” he gave a nonchalant shrug, a small smirk on his features.

“Oh, don’t you two look sweet!” Light’s mother's voice came.

“Hey auntie,” she smiled up at her, she already had a camera out to take the traditional photo of the year.

“Come on you two, huddle in,” his mother smiled, bringing the camera up.

Light wrapped an arm around (Y/N)’s waist and pulled her closer, he was more shocked that she had reciprocated and leaned closer to him, a smile on her face which was so close to his, he smiled up at the camera, the familiar click and flash filling the room. He couldn’t help but notice that she still hadn’t moved away and rested her head on his shoulder while she looked down at her notebook. The moment would soon break when Sayu would jump between the two of them, “Don’t forget me!”

“Aww, how could I forget my favourite little sister,” (Y/N)’s teased, pinching Sayu’s cheek, she giggled and swiped her hand away.

“Come on mum!”

***

“I can’t wait to update our Christmas photo,” she smiled up at Light, she was spread out on her bed the photo from last year in your hands. Light had been sitting at your desk leaning on the back of the chair while the two of you spoke. When she glanced at the clock, she could see it was almost midnight, everyone had gone to bed at that point, but the two weren’t tired. He got up from his seat and laid down on the bed next to you to look at the photo, “look at us, you still look like a goof.”

“Oh really?” he chuckled and took the photo from you, “a goof?”

“Yep,” she smiled, giving him a nudge. There was something about being alone with Light that made her feel more comfortable around him and made her more open with him. She cherished those moments, although, it also gave her deep anxiety over if she was coming off too strong, or was coming off as stupid – it was the last thing she needed. She was going to make a comment about how his _goofiness_ was, in fact, something he could never escape before she felt a heavy weight on her from Light pushing her on her back and weighed her down.

“What does that make you?”

The feeling of Light’s chest pressed against hers had caught her off guard, she felt hot all of the sudden, unsure if the heat had risen to her cheeks at that moment, “Uh – what?”

“If I’m the goof what does that make you?”

“Oh,” she let out a nervous laugh, her breath escaping her, the weight of his body almost making it harder to breathe in, “I suppose it makes me mundane.”

There was a short pause while he stared down at her an eyebrow raised before he spoke, “I don’t think so.”

“Abnormal then?” she joked before Light tilted his head slightly with a chuckle adjusting himself to be propped up on his elbow, still towering over her. (Y/N) had to hold the urge to pull him back down, missing the feeling of his weight on her.

“I’d like to think wonderful,” he smirked.

_This has to be a sign. He wants you to make the first move so just do it – no god I can’t do that my body is frozen, can’t he just lean down, just a little closer . . ._

He moved to rest on his back, a chuckle escaped his lips, “But then again, abnormal fits too.”

_Oh._

She hesitantly sat up and pulled the red ribbon from her hair and leaning over to place it on her bedside, “It’s so late, I need some shut-eye.”

She could feel him getting up from her bed, soon followed by his footsteps, when she looked up, his hand was rested on the door frame while he smiled at her, "Merry Christmas, (Y/N)."

 


End file.
